Spirit's Call
by Winged Lady Colette
Summary: "They wanted a lot of Spirit." Third time's the charm for 23-year-old Rose Hathaway when she dies in a fire that claims the lives of her loved ones. She awakens in the car on her way to St. Vladamir's Academy to finish her final year as a Novice. And she's not alone. Time Travel.
1. Burned Away

**Author's Note: I know, I know. Another story is the last thing that I need, but I just have to get this out there since it's the kind of story that I'm becoming somewhat known for! I've been thinking about it for a while and finally managed to finish the series again and knew I had to strike while the iron is hot. Plus, this series doesn't get the love that it deserves! Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

 **Warnings: Death, language and OOCness.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Word Count: 6, 665**

Agony.

Pain washed over me in physical waves across my body. But I push on. I pull myself across the floor over to the unmoving body in front of me. Well, there was an alarmingly high number of unmoving bodies, but there was one in particular that I was interested in. I can hardly see through the smoke, the pain, and the tears. Tears of pain and of anger. I tried to ignore the pain of my body and my chest, but I had to stop for a moment to try and fill my lungs with air regardless of how hard it is and how much it hurts to just breath.

I'm no stranger to pain. I've been hurt so bad in one instance where I almost died, and in an instance before that, where I did die. I'm no stranger to being thrown around, kicked and hit, pinned, pinched, punched, stabbed by one thing or another and break bones. I've even been shot. I'm no stranger to pain but no matter how many times I've been hurt or how bad it's been, nothing ever really prepares me for the next time I'm hurt. I suppose the only thing I can do after all of it, is power through the next pain with gritted teeth and pray for the best.

I can see smoke billowing into the air around us as fire eats away at the building. I can't spare a look at the dead Moroi attendant next to me. Her blue eyes are wide and lifelessly, watching me unseeing as I crawl past her. There is screaming off in the distance and the sounds of fighting. I should be out there. I should be fighting and protecting my Moroi. My best friend.

But I can't. My leg is speared through. It's a broken piece of rebar that I'm pretty sure shouldn't be there. It's gone right through my right thigh. My leg is on fire and I'm starting to lose feeling in my toes. Ironically, the rebar is keeping the bleeding at bay, mostly. Although I'm pretty sure that I'm going to get some sort of blood infection from the rebar. It looks a little rusty. I honestly can't believe I fell from two stories and this rebar is the only puncture wound I sustained. At least, that can be seen. I pretty sure if my ribs aren't broken, they are at least cracked. A few of them, I'd bet.

But I can't focus on my pain. Story of my life. My pain is the last thing on the list that I need to focus on. It wasn't even in the top five hundred things that I needed to focus on. And it's because the list is so long that I've been able to push onward no matter what is going on around me. Just like now, I can't focus on the agony coursing through my body, my brain, and my heart. I have other things to focus on.

I can't look at all of the dead or dying bodies around me. So many Guardians dead, so many shifting and moaning in agony, fighting hard to stay conscious and alive. I spot Eddie, also dragging himself across the room as well, but his goal isn't Lissa, at the head of the room, like mine is. His is to Jill who was to the left of Lissa.

Clockwise with Lissa at the head, Jill to her left, Christian to her left, Abe to his left and Mia to his left that takes us back to Lissa again. They sit in the center of their own individual triangles that make up a star in the middle of a circle. It honestly looks like a satanic circle to me, made up of all my friends and father. At the very head of the star, still in the circle but not in the triangle like Lissa is, is Sonya and Adrian, both of their heads pointed in toward the tip of the triangle Lissa is in which is resting in the center of all three of them.

It was basically a satanic ritual that one would see in one of those coven, cultic tv shows. I could name half a dozen off the top of my head right now if the circumstances were drastically different. If the love of my life wasn't staggering into the room fifteen feet to my right with his arm over Mikhail's shoulder to try to keep somewhat steady on his feet I might have thought that this was all some sort of sick, twisted joke. That I was dreaming and this was just a horrible nightmare I would soon wake up from in my love's arms, safe and warm in our bed.

But while this certainly wasn't a dream, that didn't mean it wasn't a nightmare.

They both look like hell, probably no different from me. Dimitri is leaning very heavily on Mikhail and while the latter isn't a little guy, he's still struggling to keep them both upright. Both are beaten and bruised and Dimitri is holding his ribs like he's trying to keep them in his body, or they somehow ache less when pressure is applied to them. Even from this distance, I can see blood trickling out of the side of his mouth. He could have bitten his tongue in the action-packed night we are somehow still living through or one of those ribs punctured one of his lungs.

Mikhail's limping, bad, and there is blood flowing down his leg, so intensely, even from this distance, I can see every step he takes is a trial and leaves a bloodied footprint behind. I think he was shot and he's lost all color in his face. He pushes Dimitri against the nearest wall because both of them need a moments reprieve. Both of them cover their mouths in order to stem the high levels of smoke inhalation I'm sure is going on. Mikhail looks dizzy and has the press the heels of his bloodied hands into his eyes to try and force himself to focus. The sheer force of his will is about the only thing keeping him upright at this point.

Dimitri's eyes scan the bodies, looking both grim and horrified by the amount of dead, and suffering. No one was spared. Dhampir or Moroi. It's a bloodbath that I should have seen coming. I should have been able to stop. I should have been able to prevent altogether. I feel worthless, powerless, useless, as I crawl agonizingly slow through the carnage trying to get to Lissa. She has to be alive, she has to be. Of all the people - in this room alone - that I have failed, she can't be one of them. I can't let her be one of them.

I hear Dimitri call out my name, fear at our situation but relief that I was alive is obviously written across his face. I nod slightly at him, but I can't stop. I can't look at my friends, at the haunting, pale looks on their faces as their energy is - or was, and now they're dried up meat sacks - sucked from them. None of them, the five that help make up the star and then Sonya and Adrian at the head of the star with Lissa made seven in total, were completely unmoving. All of their pale skin was practically gray.

They all looked dead.

The hardest, other than Lissa, to look at was Abe. I crawled between Christian on my right and Abe on my left. Abe, who is larger than left, practically untouchable, even with his sickly tan skin was devoid of all color and even being two feet from him, there wasn't even a sign of his breathing. His chest wasn't moving at all. The smoke in the room wasn't the only reason I couldn't breathe. These last few years with Abe have been... well, good. It's only eighteen years without yet he somehow made up for it in the last five years.

I reach out toward him, wanting to touch him, to know if he's alive or not. But I can't. I can't know that. I don't want to know for certain that I only got five years with him. That the old knee breaker could be felled so easily. Somehow, in the story of my life, he somehow seemed like the last boss battle. The hardest to take down. The one you really had to compile all of your skills, experience and brain power into defeating. Yet here he was, beaten. A man whom once seemed so untouchable, so unfazed, was left in a way that reminded me painfully that as large as he seemed, he was still trapped within his own mortal coil.

I curl my hand into a fist, staring at the side of his face a moment longer before pushing myself up onto my feet, slowly, trying to keep most of the weight off my bad leg as I limp across the circle, being mindful not to touch the red lines that make it up, hoping that it's paint and not the alternative. Standing now, though, blasts me with heat and smoke as the fire continues to eat away at the building. We don't have much time left before this building can no longer maintain it's structure and falls right into its own footprint. No doubt killing any and all of us who have yet to be taken by the shadow world.

Coughing and squinting through watery eyes, I make my way to Lissa. My leg is burning with pain and I'm just about ready to rip the rebar right out and bleed to death because it's in my way.

"Rose!"

I stop a few feet from Lissa, Adrian, and Sonya, turning to the way I came to see Sydney standing there, looking pained and exhausted.

Dumbly, worried, I yell back, "Are they dead?"

Sydney looks horrified at the sight of the circle and the faces that make it up. Jill and Adrian, in particular, bring her actual, physical agony. She quickly shakes it away, trying to stay strong as she limps her way over, stopping to kneel down by Eddie to make sure he's okay. He's not. Even I can tell he's in a bad way. He's close to Jill, within about two feet, but he can't pull himself any further than that. One of his shoulders is very obvious badly dislocated.

Sydney looks at the circle, her lips moving as she reads some sort of witchy information floating around the circle that I don't see before her face loses all color what so ever as she starts to understand something that I don't.

"Don't move, Rose!" Sydney calls, her brown eyes wide. "Don't disrupt the circle, uh, more than you already have!"

I look down at my legs, very aware of how wobbly I am and the ache spreading across my body. Maybe it does pay off to think things through. I can see Dimitri's face in my peripheral harden with fear. Mikhail looks like he was ready to sprint to Sonya's side to see if she was alright but Sydney's words stopped him. Everyone is in a bad way.

"What's wrong?" I call back, my ribs and throat hurt from just speaking. I sink down, painfully onto my bottom, trying to keep the pressure off of my bad leg. This rebar is really starting to piss me off.

"The magic is activated," Sydney calls, flinching hard when part of the ceiling behind her collapses. Her brown eyes flicker up toward the ceiling trying to decide if the ceiling was going to hold for much longer or not. My bet would be on not.

"What does that even mean?" I yell, angry and annoyed and afraid.

Sydney's lips move as she tries to understand what she's seeing. "The incantation is still active, the magic is still fluctuating. But it's destabilizing, foreign material is disrupting the spell - " She blinks, looking at my leg with widening eyes. "Is that a bar in your leg? Are you bleeding?"

"It's rebar, and are you saying that this can't be kool-aid?"

Sydney glares at me through the desperation in her eyes, so I'm hoping that the situation somehow isn't as bad as I fear it is, but I'm not really sure there isn't a way it couldn't be. I think this is about as bad as it can get. Dread, fear, and pain fill me as the simple thought of just how many people must be dead weigh down on me. It leaves me feeling desperate and afraid. Two emotions I hate.

The building groans loudly, over the roar of the inferno still growing in power around us, threateningly.

I want to reach out and grab all of my friends, pulling them from the circle, but I stayed my hand. This is more Sydney's field than my own, much to my chagrin. I wish I would be able to do it all. I don't really like having to hand over control to other people, even those I love and trust. I think I have a bit of a controlling issue. I don't honestly believe a lot of people would be able to handle things to my standers. I know the rest of the world isn't incompetent, but if it's me I know it's going to get it done right. Or at least, I'll be able to oversee it all.

Roll with the punches as they come along.

But Sydney understood this more than I did, so I had to stay where I was, which was hard to do as every fiber of my being begged me to go and help my friends and my father. Sitting here as the place burned around us grated away at my instincts as a living being and a Guardian and my patience. Everyone's lives are in danger and I'm sitting around doing nothing.

To occupy myself, I look down at the rebar in my leg, losing all feeling in my extremity. It is so unbelievably hard to fight all my instincts to not drag everyone out of the circle and away from danger. But I can't. No matter how much I wish I could. I know that I have to let Sydney do her thing because she knows what she's doing - or at least she knows better than I do - but it's steadily getting harder to do. My head is spinning and I'm in pain and I just can't breathe.

"Sydney, we have to get them out of here!" I yell.

"I know!" Sydney yells back. "I'm thinking!"

"Think faster! They'll die if they lose any more energy!" _If they aren't already dead._

"I know, Rose! Damn it!" She runs a frustrated hand through her golden hair streaked with an auburn glow from the fire. I can see fear, frustration, and anger lining her face. The building groans again, louder this time.

"Rose!" Dimitri calls.

He saw it before I did. A part of the ceiling gives away, falling like a blazing piece of heaven unto Earth - and my head. But I did see it in time to scramble partly out of the way, but my luck had the ceiling land on my piece of rebar right as I jerked away to avoid it landing on me, and ripped the rebar right out of my leg. The scream that escaped me was half a squeal and half a yelp. It didn't sound exactly human.

The pain shot up my leg and into my torso, but not down it. I have lost all feeling in the lower half of my leg. Without the rebar in place any longer, I could feel, and see, the blood flowing out of the gaping hole in my leg. I feel it draining out of me like heat being replaced by cold, sliding down my body to my leg and out.

Sydney yells out something, but it's mixed with Dimitri's and Mikhail's voices making it impossible for me to understand what she was trying to say. Or what any of them were trying to say. But a part of me would like to think that at least one of them was warning me about the other piece of the ceiling that fell right onto my back while I was struggling to climb to my feet, unable to feel my right foot.

The initial impact of the burning ceiling is what hurt and threw me back onto the ground, but it was the fire that licked at my shirt, pants, hair, and skin that got me moving. I bucked the heavy degrading piece of ceiling off and spun around trying to put the fire on my person out before it did too much damage, but once again that foot was not helping me. I fell onto my back, which helped put the fire out, but it left me aching and hurt. I'm pretty sure some of my skin has been burned and parts of my clothes sealed onto my flesh from the heat.

I struggle away from the burning ceiling, seeing through the flames, Dimitri was staring back at me, blood nearly pouring between his lips. His hold on his side was strong and pain lines his face. I could see it in his eyes, I probably looked as bad as I felt.

He takes a step closer but his entire body convulses in pain and he clutches his ribs trying to hold them in place, gritting his teeth in agony.

My body hurts. It hurts a lot. Significantly more than it was when I first stumbled into this room. I could have laughed - if I could breath - at how naive I was. _This_ is actual agony. This heat washing over me in sync with the tremors of pain that reverberate through my head and body is so much worse than anything I could have been able to imagine otherwise. I'm bruised, beaten, and burned. The smoke is now so thick in the room that my eyes are watering, my nose, throat, and lungs are burning from the smoke inhalation.

I pull myself up onto all fours, barely feeling anything in my right leg. In fact, if anything, I'm losing a lot of feeling everywhere. That is definitely not a good sign, that's for sure. I look around the circle, eyes landing on Lissa. I could have let out a sob of relief to see her beautiful green eyes staring back at me. They look bleary and exhausted, but she's staring at me. She sees me. She's alive.

"Lissa," I croak, crawling agonizingly slowly over to her. My limbs are shaking so bad that I can barely move. My left arm gives out on me and I slam my chin into the ground, blood filling my mouth a bit. I spit it out and push myself up, willing my muscles to keep pushing me forward. She's alive, but probably not for long if the building collapses around us. I scoot across the ground as much as I can, no longer caring about the lines in the satanic circle. The only thing that matters is getting to Lissa and figuring out how to get her and everyone else out of here.

I can barely lift myself anymore. I'm practically crawling on my forearms and thighs, not even able to really lift my face off the ground, my chin scraping the soot and ash covered floor.

Lissa's green eyes glisten. I don't know if it's because of the smoke, the pain, or because the reality of the situation isn't lost on her. But a lone, single tear slides out of her eye and down toward her hairline as she slowly turns her head to look straight at me. Her lips part a bit like she's trying to say something, but she shivers, as if unable to find the strength to even mold her thoughts into words.

What I wouldn't give to be able to hear her voice.

What I wouldn't give to go back in time two weeks ago before everything spiraled out of control so quickly that we couldn't stop it. What I wouldn't give to kill the son of a bitch who put us all in this position. What I wouldn't give to somehow go back to a time where I would be able to save everyone. Where I would be able to stop all of these terrible things from happening.

 _Preston Callic_ _,_ his name like poison in my mind. _Preston Callic, you best hope the world opens up and swallows you whole because you are going to wish you were never born when I get my hands on you._

He was going to pay dearly for this. I was going to make sure of it.

My body gives out long before my will does. I'm about a foot away from Lissa when I simply can't move anymore. I stare at her, unable to open my mouth and say what I wanted to. Beg for her to be okay and to forgive me for letting her down. Tell her that she was going to be alright and that I was going to somehow figure our way out of this. Plead with her to not give up and to have faith. To hold on. We would be okay somehow. Somehow.

But I'm so tired. My pain is finally, almost completely ebbed away. The fresh burns on my back don't even hurt anymore and I've lost almost all feeling throughout my entire body. The shadows crawling across my visions is something I recognize well. This isn't the first time I've seen them. It's not even the second or third. The shadows of death that have been following me since the car accident when I was fifteen - the same accident that took the lives of Eric, Andre and Rhea Dragomir - and even long after I cut immediate ties to Lissa through our Spirit Bond. The shadows continued to follow me. I never told Lissa that. I never told her that in high-stress situations or in the moments when my life is nearly cut short in the corners of my vision the tendrils of death would remain. Almost like they were always there, but I had begun to ignore them when in day-to-day life.

But I see them now, slithering across my vision, swallowing it up almost completely. Through the haze of darkness, Lissa's soft green eyes glow brighter than even the sun, shining back at me like a beacon, guiding me back to her. But I can't move. I've lost all feeling in my body. Lissa's eyes aren't the only thing that pierces the darkness, either. Yelling does too. Yelling that has probably been going on for a while now that I simply ignored or couldn't focus on. Through the different voices, I could hear Sydney, her voice pitched high and shaking as if terrified.

"The spell is falling apart! The spell is falling apart!" I didn't know what that meant. Not for me, or Lissa, or anyone in this room with us, but I didn't get the time to ask - even if I had had the strength to - before the shadows wrapped around me once and for all.

* * *

"Rose, can you grab that CD from the back for me?"

I unbuckle my seatbelt and turn around in the seat to dig around in the back as Lissa snaps, "Andre! She's not one of those girls fawning over your every whim! Don't tell her what to do!"

"It's okay, Liss," I laugh, trying to find the bag with Andre's CD in it. "I don't really mind. It's back here, right?"

"It should be," Andre says. "That's where I put it."

"If you wanted to look at it, you should have kept it on you," Lissa says, displeased.

I shake my head, shoving a blanket aside, hearing a plastic bag ruffled in the darkness, but of course, I can't see where it exactly is as the bag was also black. "It's okay, Lissa," I say again. "I really don't mind."

"I do," Rhea says from the front passenger seat. "Rose, please turn around and put your seatbelt back on. Andre, you can wait until we get home before you look at the CD if it matters so much to you."

"It's alright, Rhea," I say hand sliding over the bag. I grab it up and spin around, sitting back between the two siblings. "I found the bag." I toss it to Andre and grin over at Lissa, who smiles back, her green eyes rolling in her head.

"You really shouldn't be humoring him, Rose," Lissa says, brushing the loose strands of pale blond hair that fell from her hair tie behind her ears. We pass beneath a streetlight that illuminates the car for a moment. I spot Rhea and Eric smiling at one another as she reaches out and takes his right hand in her own, squeezing it with love in her eyes.

"Lissa," I look toward my best friend, grinning, "you make it seem like I chopped my arm off. I grabbed a CD for him. Lighten up." I link my arm through hers and rest my head on her shoulder and stare up at her. Lissa shakes her head a bit, holding my arm close, looking down at me. We pass under another streetlight once more illuminating the car.

Outside, I see the rain falling on the window, gently sliding down and disappearing from my view as the radio plays softly around us. In the corner of my eye, I can see Andre reading the back of his CD, pale blond eyebrows pulled together. I close my eyes and listen to the breathing of the people around me, the radio playing softly, and the sound of the rain hitting the metal of the car. I felt at total and complete peace. Safe and comfortable in the night where my kind have always thrived in. With everything going on in my life, it's nice to be able to just relax and forget about how the world is falling apart around me.

"After everything we've been through..." Lissa says softly, shaking her head a bit before resting it on top my mine, "...I'm just glad that we can take a few moments to ourselves."

"Can you read my mind?" I ask, smiling faintly. "I was just thinking that exact same thing. Let's take a breather before we go back and face our problems."

Lissa laughs, and it's been so long since I heard her laugh like that. It was soft and tired, but happy. It feels like it's been forever since she and I finally found a few moments to ourselves. Away from the stress and the expectations and the worry. At the end of the day, my best friend and I were still in complete and utter sync with one another. Sure, throughout our lives we've fallen off the bandwagon a bit, but we always managed to find our way back to one another because while Dimitri is the love of my life and the only person in the world for me, Lissa is my soul mate. She's the only one who knows every inch of my soul, even if my daily life isn't always a topic of conversation, she will always be the one who knows my heart so purely and truly.

I close my eyes, listening to her breath next to me. "Do you think Christian and Dimitri are okay?"

"What?" Lissa asks, looking down at me, her eyebrows pulling together when I open my eyes to look up at her.

"What?" I echo back. "What did I say?"

"Dimitri? Christian?" Lissa says for a moment as if the names don't mean anything to her. And at that moment, I don't know them either. I don't know who I was referring to. Somehow, I knew that they meant something to me. They meant a lot to me, but I couldn't place their faces into my head. I couldn't figure out who I was talking about. I know they are important, but for a moment I just... couldn't summon an image of either of them in my head.

I pull away and look Lissa in the eye, hoping that our mental link was still holding. Surely she knows who I'm talking about. Surely she knows the people I speak of, even if I don't.

We stare at each other, trying to remember something we both seem to have forgotten. This nagging, aching feeling in the back of my head that I can't seem to place. I'm forgetting something really important, I just can't remember what it is. Damn it!

"My palace," Lissa gasps, green eyes widening, sending a shock of fear and horror through me. _Yes, I remember._

"They destroyed the palace!" I yell at her. She nods.

"They took us. All of us! Abe, Jill, Christian, Mia, Sonya, Adrian! Oh god!"

I grab onto her shoulders, staring into her eyes as they flicker back and forth trying to recall everything. "What did they want, Lissa? What was that pentagram thing? What were they doing to you all? Sydney never got far enough to say."

Lissa shakes her head, forehead creases appearing. "I... I don't know. I don't think they ever said. It was something about Spirit. They needed a whole lot of Spirit. It's why they got Adrian, Sonya and I."

"Adrian was on medication, though," I protest.

"They took him first, remember?" Lissa says, leaning toward me, face flushed with fear and anger. "They must have stopped his medication before they took the rest of us. They had to. I remember feeling Spirit in him before I lost consciousness." She rubs at her forehead, looking worried and afraid. "I don't really remember much else. They used magic to keep us in place and then..." She squints, trying to clear her mind, "I remember seeing you! I woke up to you! To the fire. Oh god, the ceiling was falling apart! We..."

"Died," I whisper. Lissa and I stare at one another, probably thinking the same thing. _If we are dead, how are we together?_

Lissa chews on her lower lip for a moment before looking around the car, looking at her parents and her brother, sadness, and pain flash across her face as she stomps it down, forcing the sadness away.

"Mom? Dad? Andre?"

"Yes, Lissa?" Eric asks from the driver's seat as we pass under another street light. He doesn't turn to look at us.

Lissa swallows, opening her mouth but no noise escapes her lips and I know why. This is the first time she's died. She hasn't become somewhat desensitized by any of this like I have. Saying the words aloud makes them very real, more real than she wants them to be. We were in our early twenties, neither of us was ready to die. Especially for real.

"Are we dead?" I ask, staring out into the dark night around the car, now feeling fear and worry. That darkness wasn't just night anymore. It was shadows. Shadows clawing gently at the outside of the car. A thin layer of metal separating all of us from the land of shadows.

Eric doesn't respond right away which makes sense. If we are dead, this could all be some sort of weird delusion. And if it's not, then we are a bunch of ghosts talking about being dead.

"That's not an easy question to answer," Eric finally says, not pulling his eyes off the road.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "I feel like that's a very easy yes or no question."

Eric's smile is paper thin and without mirth. "If you were in this car with us, I would assume that you were dead with us, but you were able to unbuckle your seatbelt, Rose. So you aren't bound to it like we are."

"What?" I ask, realizing that I was still no longer wearing my seatbelt, and when I looked around, it's gone. "What is...?"

I look down at Lissa's seatbelt and unclip it. It slides over her shoulder and disappears into the car without a sound. Lissa stares between where it vanished and me with green eyes so wide they almost take up her entire face.

"What? How?"

I spin around to Andre and reach for his clip to see the seatbelt disappears into the seat. I can't force my hand between the fabric. I can't find the clip. I can't get him out of the seat. I grab the strap across his chest. No matter how much I tug or pull, I can't even get it to loosen let alone let him go. He watches me with calm green eyes.

"Andre!" I gasp. "Come on, help me!"

"Thanks for grabbing my CD for me, Rose," he says calmly, offering me that charming smile that melted the hearts of all the girls at our school before he died.

"Andre!" I yell, feeling tears prick at the backs of my eyes. "Don't give up! I can still save you!"

"We watched you, Rose," Andre says, reaching out and grabbing my hands so they couldn't pull on the belt which felt like steel beneath my fingertips. I keep bending my nails back, but I don't care. I couldn't save Andre before, I can save him now! "When we died. We watched you and Liss. Watched as you stumble and fell over. As you run from your problems and toward them. We watched as the two of you split apart and came together stronger than ever before. We watched it all. You were never alone, neither of you. We were always there."

Lissa's voice is filled with sorrow and pain. I didn't need to look at her to know that she was crying. "Andre..."

"No!" I snarl at her, pulling futilely at the belt, unable to remove the belt. "Don't give up, Andre! This isn't the end!"

Andre looks at me sadly, his smile is thin. He pulls my hands from the belt again. "For you, sure. But we are where we belong now. And it's okay. It's all okay."

"I wanted you to put on your seatbelt, Rose," Rhea says softly, finally speaking again. "I wanted you, girls, to stay with us. The world is so cruel and I've seen the terrible things it has done to the two of you. I want to protect the two of you. I love you both." She looks over at us with large, sad blue eyes. "If I could protect the two of you from everything in the world... I would. I'm sorry."

"I think this is the end of the road," Eric says as the entire car is flooded with light. I'm blinded, throwing my hands over my eyes. I hear Lissa yelp in pain and surprise, probably doing the same.

"I don't want to go!" Lissa yells. "I want to stay here, with you! I don't want to go wherever this leads! I want us to stay together! Mom! Dad! Andre!"

"Andre is right, Lissa," Eric says, his voice soft and soothing as the bright light looks more and more golden. A very familiar golden color.

"We have been watching over you two since the day we died," Rhea says just as softly.

"You're never alone, so long as you have each other, you'll always have us too," Andre finishes as the golden light begins to fade into darkness at the sound of crunching metal.

* * *

I jerk awake, looking around, heart racing in my chest. "Lissa?" I yell, perhaps louder than necessary in the small space we are in. The car we're in swerves a bit before getting back on the road. I spin around, completely disoriented now in the front seat instead of the back. "Lissa?"

"Rose!"

I spin around in my seat to see Lissa sitting behind me in the middle seat, her green eyes wide. My right-hand yanks back a bit, something metal digging into my wrist. I spare a look to see that it's a handcuff before the voice next to me, shocks me into stillness.

"Are you crazy? Screaming in a car? I could have killed us, Novice Hathaway."

I turn slowly to see Dimitri Belikov sitting in the driver's seat, sending me a slightly withering look, but there was a touch of alarm and concern in his eyes. I obviously scared him when I yelled out.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I just had the weirdest - wait. What did you call me?"

Dimitri gives me a quick glance, eyebrows pulling together. "What do you mean?" He looks a bit more relaxed now, but there is this hard look on his face that I don't think I've seen in a while.

"Did you just call me Novice Hathaway?" I ask, disbelief chilling me to the bone. I pull lightly at the handcuff, fearing I might throw up.

Dimitri doesn't say anything for a moment, watching the road before giving me a confused side glance that made my heart sink all the way to the soles of my feet. It was a look that I haven't seen in years. He's looking at me as if he's looking at a stranger. There is no love. No affection. No longing or care. Just a passing glance one would offer someone that they don't know. Fear, worry, and pain coursed through me, chilling me even further. It's like a tidal wave washing over me without any way to stop it.

 _He doesn't know you,_ Lissa's voice whispers in the back of my head. _He doesn't know you because Spirit did something to us. But how?_

I turn in my seat, looking back at her in absolute horror. "I..." I don't know.

Lissa's eyes widen slightly. _Did you hear that? Are you shadow-kissed again?_

I open my mouth, trying to find the words to fully express how I feel, but my mind is blank. I can't formulate words. All I can think about is Dimitri and how he no longer loves me, no longer cares about me. I am nothing to him while he's everything to me. Wait, does that mean...?

I look down at the handcuffs, then out the dark window to see us passing under lots of trees dusted with snow down a path that I recognize from years of taking it to my one time home in St. Vladamir's Academy.

Novice Hathaway...

My lips part. "Fuck."


	2. St Vladamir's Academy

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait but I do like the attention that this story is getting! I really hope that you all will enjoy this story as much as I am enjoying writing this! I know this chapter is slow but it's building up to the drama. :D If you've read any of my stuff, you will understand well that I love the suspense and drama! XD Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

 **Warnings: Language, groping.**

 **Word Count: 6,015**

Knowing Dimitri like I do, I know that he didn't appreciate my language, especially since he's not used to it. That, I suppose, comes with time. And love. As Dimitri began to like me, and love me, he got used to my language and mannerisms. And perhaps I evolved a bit over time too. Into someone more likable maybe. Who knows.

The look that Dimitri shot me in the corner of my eyes is easy to ignore - the pain in my chest is not so much. I thought when he came back from being a Strigoi and looked at me with no love that that was the greatest form of agony in my heart that I would have to feel, but looking at him now and seeing absolutely no emotion toward me whatsoever was far worse than that - beyond imagination. There is no love, no caring, no contempt or anger. There isn't anything. It's simply the eyes and expression of a man who stares back at a complete stranger. No attachment in any way, shape, or form.

Lissa and I sit in complete silence the rest of the way to the school, still in utter shock over what has happened. I can feel the flurry of emotions spinning around like a maelstrom inside of Lissa, practically identical to the one circling inside of me too. It's hard to tell where her emotions start and end so intertwined with my own I don't know which is which. It's been a few years since Lissa and I have been linked together with the bond, but it's like riding a bike. I've never forgotten the feeling. I never fully got used to living without the bond. A part of me had become so reliant on that tangible emotional connection to be able to read Lissa that I had to retrain the rest of me to figure out how to read her again.

And now I smoothly reverted back to simply feeling through the bond and understanding her almost immediately. Well, when she has some idea of what she's feeling. Considering neither of us know how we really feel, it makes it impossible to be able to stitch together an understanding without it. I look down at the cuff around my wrist, thinking back to this time in my life. I had rubbed the skin raw trying to wiggle my hand out of it.

When we got off the plane, I remember making a threatening leap out of it for a well-placed knee to the chest to give Lissa and I the chance to get away. It probably would have worked on anyone else in the world but Dimitri. He caught me with ease and threw me over his shoulder. Lissa gave a little laugh, having already lost faith in our escape attempts and walked with us to the black SUVs waiting to take us the rest of the way to St. Vladamir's. He carried me like a sack of potatoes to the car and was even gentlemanly enough to open the back door for Lissa.

He was carrying me on his shoulder with a hand on my lower back to keep me in place, yet he acted as if I wasn't even there. Once she was inside the car he steps up to the front passenger side door and opened that up too. He finally lowered me to the ground and stood in such a way where his body blocked me in between the door and the interior of the car. I had no choice but to go inside unless I magically came up with a way to blast through the Russian meatshield. But I had no way of doing that, just short of a dirty shot that probably wouldn't make me any friends.

So, begrudgingly, I sat my happy ass in the passenger seat with my arms crossed over my chest. Defiance is in my nature.

And he just stood there, now closer than before, still using his body to block any easy way out. If I had enough room I might be able to throw myself over the center counsel and out the driver's side, but that wouldn't get Lissa out of this predicament, so I'm stuck.

But he just stood there, staring at me. "What?" I finally snapped, not sure why he was just staring.

 _Seatbelt,_ Lissa wondered to herself, but her soft voice filtered into my mind. I knew she was remembering the car accident. I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt then and was thrown from the car, it's probably what had saved my life. If only I had known then what I do now.

I groaned, grabbed the seatbelt and clicked it into place before glaring at him. "Happy?" He didn't respond. Just stared back at me, almost considering something. Then I opened my big mouth. "It's not like I'm dumb enough to throw myself from a moving car."

He blinked. Once, twice, three times, before he held out his hand to me. I stared at it, confused. Then I looked up into his gorgeous dark eyes but couldn't read his stoic expression. Even Lissa was no help, having no idea what his odd behavior was about any more than I did.

"What?" I asked sharper than I meant to.

No response. Just staring.

I looked down at his hand again, so confused. "What?" I asked again but still nothing. Finally, I reached out and placed my hand in his own, figuring that was the only other thing I could do, except maybe a high five but we weren't good enough friends for him to get a high five from me.

He wrapped his hand around my own, reached behind his back and grabbed out handcuffs and in a swift, deft move, he chained me to the car door and slammed it shut firmly before walking around the car to the driver's side as the other Guardians piled in. Even though my jaw was to the floor in shock, I didn't miss him passing one of the Guardians saying, "Wild girl isn't jumping out of my car."

And now we're here.

 _I can't believe it,_ Lissa whispers in my head as the gates to St. Vladamir's Academy opens before us. _I can't believe we are here._

She and I both. How did this even happen? It had to of been that circle. All of the elements and a healthy, extra dose of Spirit from three powerful users, probably somehow made this possible. But I'm not smart enough to know how exactly. There has to be a lot of elements in play here. Our magic and that of Satan's magic, along with who knows what other variables. I would seriously have to sit down with Sydney to see what she has to say about this.

My eyes flicker over to Dimitri as a twinge of pain and worry settle in my gut. If Dimitri doesn't remember anything, Sydney wouldn't either, right? Does that mean that Lissa and I are the only ones here? Why? Was it just because we were awake in the circle before the ceiling caved in on us? I don't want to think that we were the only ones that were alive in the circle. That brings a stabbing pain to my chest that sucks the breath right out of me.

Without thinking, without mentally processing myself, I reach back with my left hand to my best friend. I feel her long, thin hand wrap around my own. I can feel the heat of my body with her own. A small wave of comfort washes over her, gaining strength and comfort from me, as I do from her. I feel her squeeze my fingers tightly and peaking into her mind, she's somewhat drowning beneath a torrent of emotions. She's thinking about her life at Court, about the days leading up to her kidnapping which was basically normal, about that weird little limbo dream with her parents and brother, and what this could possibly mean for us now.

Both of us are reeling, thinking about anything and everything in those few months leading up to Lissa's kidnapping and the attempted rescue that went horribly awry and ended with pretty much all of us dying and Lissa and I thrown into hell. Synonymous with our past.

It's only once we are inside the Academy's walls and Dimitri shuts off the car that he finally passes over the key to the handcuffs to me. I take it and uncuff myself, feeling numb. We are here. At St. Vladamir's Academy. As seventeen years old girls. Going through our senior year. Again.

I can't fucking _believe_ this. I went through my senior year already and it sucked on about thirty-five different levels. Not only was there a ton of people here I simply didn't care to see, but there were classes that I barely passed the first time and spent just enough time away to have forgotten everything which is basically worse than the first time because I had a bit of memory for that stuff then but not now. Everything that I know now is all practical stuff, not what I learned in books. I'm not even really sure what I'm doing is considered protocol or not.

I'm Lissa's Guardian. Not a lot of people can tell me what I'm doing is wrong. Not a lot of people can question my decisions. And Dimitri is almost always there with me, helping talk through things with me. Maybe it's his ideas and probing that stops me from going too gung-ho. Considering he's more dressed for the lawless cowboy shtick than I am, the irony isn't lost on me.

I force myself to calm down as Lissa loops her arm through mine, giving me a bit of clarity in my mind. She's uneasy too, as this school year wasn't exactly kind to her either. We can argue who had it worse. I would flip-flop on the days trying to decide if I felt sorry enough for myself to choose me or not, and I know Lissa is the same. Some days this year was the worst for me, some days it was worse for her, but one thing that I know for certain is that these next few years really, _really_ sucked.

"I can't believe we're back," Lissa says, her words intentionally vague as Dimitri and one of the other Guardians walk close by to ensure I don't break a twig off of a broken tree and stab someone in an escape attempt.

I take everything in with my eyes. The same St. Vladamir stares back at me, covered in winter's dust. Ha, just kidding, winter spit up all over Backwater, Montana, and St. Vladamir has become someone's winter wonderland. Not mine, though. I much prefer it if was warmer. And say there was a beach close by, and an ocean within walking distance of that beach.

"Nothing's changed," Lissa says, shaking her head with wide eyes. Her steps have slowed down considerably, and I slow mine to match hers. I'm used to this pace, it's her queenly pace. This is the slow, steady, strong pace that she used to show her confidence and strength. She knew how to do that as a Royal amongst "equals" and "lessers", but she perfected the act, the walk, as a Queen amongst subjects.

I let out a long drawn-out sigh, as we make our way into the building, heading toward the cafeteria for that walk of shame that no one gets tired of, I'm sure. I mean, come on, who doesn't like long, awkward walks through a crowded cafeteria full of hormone driven, gossip fiends that sensed a good story as soon as we stepped onto campus. Because as soon as we walked into the room, making our way to Kirova's office, through all the areas that are the most densely populated so that the rumor can spread as quickly as possible.

"Actually, something has changed," I mumble at her.

Lissa looks over at me, curiously. "What?"

"Us," I say.

Lissa smiles mirthlessly at me, knowing exactly what I'm talking about without needing clarification. "Don't I know it. I can't believe that this is happening to us." She shakes her head slowly, meeting every stare sent her way with practiced grace and calm. "This entire situation is like something out of a dream." She stares down a freshman with beautiful green eyes.

"Or a nightmare," I mumble.

"Rose," Lissa says sharply, before taking a breath, slowing her steps more than before. Dimitri takes this in stride. If it was just me, he would have nudged me along so that we weren't later than we already were. Plus it doesn't hurt that Lissa has perfected the ability to walk around anywhere like she owns every inch of it, and it flows off of her in graceful waves. She seems powerful and untouchable and while the inside of her is a raging maelstrom, on the outside she is calm and in complete control.

I hope that I appear as in control as she does. Sometimes I never know. Her strength made me strong, and I'm praying that my facial control is nearly as good as her own.

Aaron was looking after Lissa, so was Mia with that ugly. angry look on her eleven-year-old looking baby face. I always hated that look on her face. I can't wait until I break her nose and she comes to our side from the bitchy one she's on right now. I love Mia. Mia is my friend and both of us away from St. Vladamir is probably the best thing that happened to our relationship.

She's my friend and I love her, and my impulse control has gotten significantly better than when I was seventeen, but I'm afraid if Bitch Mia turns up her perfect, unbroken nose at me, I might swing again. It taught her a bit of humility and we were able to get over it, so I feel like one or two swings at her should be okay for us, right?

Well, if she's lucky, we won't figure it out.

We walk into Kirova's office and both of our eyes land on Victor Dashkov in the corner of the room. But unlike last time we were in this position, neither Lissa nor I, am happy to see him. In Lissa's mind's eye, she sees the man who kidnapped and tortured her. The man she had to help bust out of prison so that we could find his half-brother and save Dimitri, only to lose him when the undead love of my life attacked us in Vegas. Even though her emotions are a mess from this entire situation, seeing Victor sends a chilling anger through her. She doesn't pity him or love him anymore. All of the good memories she had of him were colored black and red with anger and disillusionment.

But for me, I see his dead eyes staring back at me. I see his body slumped against the wall with blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. I see him through the red haze of anger and rage that coursed through me whenever I thought about him, fueled by Spirit. I feel anger and pain and sadness and shame, all just by staring at him.

Like Lissa, I know that I will never be able to look at him the way that seventeen-year-old Rose used to see him. He will always be a man I despise and chose to not want in my life. I know what he's planning on doing, and I'm not going to let him do it. I won't let him lay his hands on Lissa. I won't let him hurt her. Never again. I failed her too many times to willingly walk into another one. He won't get a hug from her, and he won't get sympathy from me. That's just not going to happen.

I reach up to the back of my neck, thinking about the scores of _molnija_ and the few _zvezda_ marks that I used to have decorated the back of my neck. My badge of honor, but also my reminder.

Lissa catches the movement and misunderstands, thinking maybe I had a twinge in my neck, or I was somehow trying to control my anger when it came to Victor, which was partly true.

But she touches the back of my neck and pushes some of my hair to the side to get a look when a zing of shock runs through her. I turn my head to look at her, knowing I can't say anything, but her eyes are wide and she's already brushing my long hair back into place.

 _All your marks are there,_ Lissa's voice whispers in the back of my head. _What are we going to do? How do we explain all of your marks? Even your promise mark?_

I have no idea. I don't even know how we got here, let alone why I still have my marks on my neck. It became such a normal thing to have - a part of me - that I didn't even think about it. I mean, my mind was sent back in time, I didn't think I would take my marks with me! How in the world am I suppose to train with Dimitri if I can't put my hair up? He won't accept me not putting my hair up.

Oh shit! How am I supposed to be promised, if I already have a promise mark?

The hug that Victor gave Lissa - very much against her will - was stiff and I know she pulled away quickly, but both of us were thinking about my marks and how to cover them up. she was thinking a lot of make-up, but she didn't even think about my needing a tattoo when I graduate. But I'm thinking about it, and unless I come up with a fool-proof plan on how to explain it, I'm screwed. People are probably going to think that I am a liar and a fraud.

What am I going to do?

I sit there quietly, my mind racing. I don't hear Kirova as she stomps back and forth in front of me talking about how I'm the shame of the world because I took Lissa from St. Vladamir's Academy. How I was never punished for what I did before leaving either. She drones on and on about everything I've already heard from her and everyone else over my years as a Guardian. People like to trudge up my past when it suits them. I know I was an idiot when I was younger - seventeen to twenty-one in specific was particularly hard - but I'm not going to let that phase me anymore. Especially since I'm not going to make those exact same mistakes as I did before.

I'm not as impulsive or childish as I used to be. I'm smarter and definitely more worldly than I thought I was when I really was seventeen years old. I'm not seventeen. Maybe my body is - or maybe it isn't seeing as I still had my marks - but my mind is years older. I'm not ignorant to the ways of the world any longer. I may not be in control of my life like I want to be, but I have a bit more control now than I did when I was first in this position.

"Rose," Lissa says, pulling me from my thoughts.

"What?" I say, staring over at her. I hadn't realized that the room fell quiet. Kirova, Alberta, and Dimitri stare back at me with unreadable expressions, while Lissa looks calm, collected.

"Say something to Kirova, Rose," Lissa says, reaching out to take my hand. Her voice is even and confident. She knows what I do. Even if I can't somehow talk my way out of this, Dimitri will.

But I also know what he's going to say.

"Lissa and I are bonded," I tell them, glancing over at my best friend. She looks on without expression. She trusts me. Whatever I say, she's going to back me. Not that what I'm saying is going to be a lie, but even if I did, she would follow me to hell and back based solely on my words. For the first time in a long time, I feel Lissa's complete and utter confidence seeping out of her, through our bond to me.

"That's impossible," Kirova sneers in disbelief. "A bond hasn't been - "

"Lissa and I are bonded," I say again. "In the car accident two years ago, Lissa and I bonded when she saved my life." I'm not sure how much I want to say just yet. The last thing I want is to give anyone more power than they should have, but thinking about the people in this room - Lissa, Alberta, Kirova, Victor, Dimitri - I realized I don't really need to hide it. The only one to pose a threat is Victor, but Lissa and I will be watching him and Natalie like hawks. He's not going to catch us off guard.

"Princess Vasilisa didn't save your life," Kirova says, sounding annoyed. "You weren't even hurt in the accident. Besides, what does this have to do with - "

"The accident was the turning point," I say, cutting her off again. I'm not going to elaborate on how she saved my life, no one would really believe it either. That would have to wait, I think. No one is ready for Spirit just yet. Not that I think anyone is ever really ready for it. "It was after the accident that Lissa and I formed our bond."

"Rose stopped breathing," Lissa joins in, lying easily, although I feel a sting of sadness in her. She likes Alberta, Dimitri, and even Kirova. She hates that she has to lie to them. She doesn't mind so much lying to Victor, because, like me, she's already creating a story in her mind to weave together so that we can say what we want without revealing too much before we are ready. "She stopped breathing and I remembered enough from CPR class and brought her back. I was so wounded, I didn't know if I would be able to do chest compressions or not. But as you can see.." She nods over to me.

"It was after she saved my life that our bond was created," I finish off the lie. I don't look at Victor, but by telling this lie, and knowing what I know about him and what he knows, I am acutely aware of him in the back of my mind. "I took her from the Academy because I felt her life was in danger, so we left. Do you want an explanation for why we ran off? Why I took the Dragomir Princess out of St. Vladamir? I'll tell you - "

Lissa jumps in her seat next to me, alarm and fear spiking through her. "Rose," her voice is sharp in warning. Even though she believes in me and trusts me with her life and our future, but she's still worried about being too honest too quickly.

I stare at her, reassuring her with my eyes. I know what the costs could be if I messed up. I could lose everything and everyone that I love. I could destroy all of our lives by messing up. So, no pressure.

"I'll tell you," I say to Lissa, reassuring her one more time, before looking over at Kirova and speaking to her. "Because with all your wards, and your Guardians and your rules and your _school_ , she doesn't feel safe here. She didn't feel safe two years ago, so she wanted to leave here. And I took her. I am Lissa's Guardian. I have been her Guardian for years. I have kept her safe, I have looked after her and if you want to kick me out? Fine. I will wait outside the walls of the school until she graduates and sell my service to her cheap. I won't be promised, but that's fine I won't be a Guardian if I can't have her."

Kirova looks at me with a mixture of confusion and surprise. I'm sure she must have heard a fair share of nonsense in her many years as both a teacher and a headmistress that I'm sure haven't exactly been this brand of nonsense but I'm sure she's heard her fair share. A part of me wonders what the most absurd thing she's ever heard is. I wouldn't be surprised if it was my words she threw back at me.

But I'm serious. I don't care too much about being in St. Vladamir's Academy if only to be around my friends. Around Lissa. Around Dimitri. I would kill to spend every waking moment - and in Dimitri's case, while I'm sleeping too - at their sides. Dimitri and I were going to get married before all of this nightmarish bullshit. He bought me a beautiful ring that he got himself and had been hounding me for two years to finally walk down the aisle. I finally agreed to set a date, but we never got passed deciding the season. We wanted a summer wedding, he and I. We wanted it in the early morning so that we can appreciate the sunlight on our skin as we promise our lives to each other. We accept our lives being shrouded in darkness, but we wanted to be together in the sunlight.

But that's how they got us. It's how they ultimately won. Dimitri and I were away. I let the pressure of this wedding and my love for Dimitri get in the way of my duty to protect Lissa. I became complacent. It wasn't Dimitri's fault. It was mine. I tried to live my life outside my duty. I love Dimitri. I love him with all my heart, but I didn't need to marry him to know I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't need a big wedding and a change of my last name to know that he would always be a piece of me until the day I die. I should never have let anyone talk me into a big wedding with people and presents and cake. It should have just been Dimitri and me, two or three friends, along with my parents, his mother, and sisters, and someone to marry us.

If it had been like that, we never would have a need to leave Lissa alone. She wouldn't have been taken. None of this would have happened. It's a common theme, I'm starting to see, that Lissa seems to always get kidnapped when I'm not around. Honestly, I thought that it was going to be the other way around, but once again, color me surprised.

I don't know how I won Dimitri in the first place, let alone how in the world I'm going to replicate it, but I am not letting my man fall for anyone else. Especially considering that the only person that really had any chance with him other than me, as far as I know, was Tasha Ozera. And the anger and jealousy that burned through me at that moment hurt me. I still, even to this day, have many mixed feelings about Tasha that I was perfectly content with pretending didn't exist seeing as I had hardly any to no interaction with her once she was imprisoned for the death of Tatiana Ivashkov, but I'm afraid of how they will present themselves now that I'm going to face her once more.

This time, though, she will have done nothing wrong.

She wouldn't have hurt anyone or killed anyone and she didn't hate me for stealing Dimitri away when she was so close to having him, that she would frame me for both revenge and convenience. Sometimes, and I'm not sure how I make it so easy for the bad guys to be able to get the upper hand on me. And I don't mean in battle, but like when Tatiana tricked me into helping fuel her cause to lower the graduation age to sixteen, or how my calling said Queen a sanctimonious bitch gave Tasha pretty much all the evidence she needed just short of video footage of me doing the deed, to convict me in a court of law. And pretty much each and every instance involving Victor too.

I just don't understand how the bad guys keep getting the upper hand on me. It's not fair. For once I would like to be three steps ahead, rather than struggling to keep up.

"Guardians are fewer in numbers as it is," Dimitri says after a long silence, drawing everyone's eyes to him. "We shouldn't be throwing away any who wish to serve, especially those with talent. And the female Guardian numbers are at an all-time low, as well."

Kirova looks trapped. Her bird nose turned up as she looks at me consideringly. She opens her mouth, probably about to tell Dimitri I would be better suited in some Blood Whore camp, but Victor cuts her off before she can even say a word. "She has somehow kept Vasilisa safe these last two years. Even if they didn't run into Strigoi, it's not safe out in the world for two young girls regardless."

"Rose sprained a gropers wrist," Lissa offers.

I snort, pulling myself a bit from the darkness settling over me. I had forgotten about that. "You're missing a key part of the story: they were groping me, not you."

"Yeah, well, you would have broken his wrist if it was me," Lissa says, knowingly.

She was leaving out another important part of the story. Lissa and I were out on a double date with Christian and Dimitri. Somone had called Dimitri about an event that he was planning the security detail for in a week's time, and Christian had stepped away to grab us some drinks when the guy made the grab at me. Lissa saw him make the grab while was bent over tying my shoe when he grabbed a handful of my ass.

I remember yelping out, "Oi!" before spinning around, grabbing his wrist and giving it a good twist. He was some idiot college guy joking around with his friends. What he didn't know was I was trained to take down guys a lot bigger than me and that beanpole had nothing on some of the people I've faced - excluding the many Strigoi. He didn't know that Lissa's boyfriend was already heading toward us and could have lit him up in seconds if he wanted to, and what he certainly didn't know was while I was very much able to handle myself, the shadow of my angry 6'7 fiance falling over us was a long one.

There is just something unnerving about his height, and the fact that he's Russian. Those American idiots looked terrified when Dimitri glared at them from over the top of me, but when he asked, voice thick with his accent, "Do you have some business with my fiance?" I could see all the color drain from their faces. They didn't know that he was a duster wearing, western loving dhampir god that kills the undead for a living and was even undead at one point. They only knew he was big, strong and angry.

I'm not going to lie, while I'm all for strong, capable women, there is just something thrilling about Dimitri adamant and clearly stating his claim of me as his fiance. Maybe it was because the beginning of our relationship wasn't exactly a relationship and there wasn't really any stake or claim for one another. We couldn't lay claim to one another. I couldn't call him my boyfriend and he couldn't call me his girlfriend. The only thing we could call each other is teacher and student, and that isn't exactly a turn on knowing that Dimitri could get into an unbelievable amount of trouble because of the nature of our relationship at that point. So...

Kirova's annoyed sigh pulls me from my thoughts and back to the present. I don't know if I was living through that moment in my own head, or Lissa's but both of us were feeling deep stabbing pain in our chests. Thinking about that simple, easy date that was just weeks before our lives came to an end. Literally. It was only a few weeks later that Lissa and the others were kidnapped and we died. We hadn't known at that time, while we were laughing and joking and having a fun double date, that Adrian had been kidnapped from work and set this all in motion. Or, at least, the final stages.

"Very well, Ms. Hathaway, you will be allowed to rejoin the Novice class and hope that you have some chance at graduation. But you are going to need to take extra classes if you even hope to catch up with the rest of your class by the end of the year - which I don't think you will. Two years is a lot of time to lose. So someone is going to have to put in extra time." Kirova crosses her arms over her chest and turns her gaze to Dimitri. "Are you willing to take on this burden, Guardian Belikov?" She asks flatly.

This burden has a name. It's Rose Hathaway, thanks.

Dimitri looks stunned, about to protest before his eyes flicker over to me as Kirova says, "No one else will take her, I'm sure. And you were so quick to defend her, I thought you would. If not, then there is no hope for her."

Any protest dies on his lips and it's hard not to swallow back the feelings of pain in my heart. Lissa sends me all the comfort she can muster through our bond. When we were in this position when we were actually seventeen, Lissa hated the bond. Hated the invasion of privacy, but now she's using it to her advantage. Even though she can't feel me through it, she's using it to help me. She is a true, honest friend. I would never be able to bond with anyone else like I do with Lissa. Not like this anyway.

"Very well," Dimitri says reluctantly. "I will train Novice Hathaway."

"Ah," Kirova says, distastefully before looking over at me, "And don't think this gets you off easy. There will be no extracurricular activities for you, either. If you are not in class or training with Belikov, you are in your room, understood?"

I nod, feeling Lissa's hand still wrapped around my own, tighten. "Yes, Headmistress."


	3. Guardian

**Author's Note: I am so sorry about the wait! I really am enjoying the attention that this story is getting, it really helps spur me on! I am having a lot of mixed feelings about this chapter but no matter how much I've been thinking about it, there really isn't any other way to really move forward than this. Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Warning: Language, OOCness, Un-beta'd.**

 **Word Count: 4,843**

My schedule ended up the same as when I first went through my senior year at St. Vladamir's. Kirova sent us away as soon as I agreed to obey her wishes. I think she was sufficiently sure that both Dimitri and I were adequately punished for killing my social life and taking away Dimitri solitude. She's sure that's going to be enough. What she doesn't know is that she isn't just punishing me. She's torturing me. She's dangling the love of my life in front of me like water in the desert. She might be angry at me and the situation, but I'm sure she doesn't intend to be this cruel. If she knew, I'm sure this situation would have been so different.

Nevermind the fact that I can't in my right mind believe that the Headmistress would willingly and knowingly put a minor and an adult together that would ultimately - hopefully - fall in love with one another and commit a crime just a week before that minor's eighteenth birthday. Maybe I will be a bit smarter about that, seeing as we - and I mean he - got into some trouble for that wonderful act.

Thankfully there was no legal trouble. With Lissa as Queen, she conveniently never really knew about when Dimitri and I got together or when we originally consummated our love for one another. It was more of the backlash from my parents. They went on that hunting trip when I wasn't privy too, but I know that he started out on the wrong foot with Janine and Abe. Thankfully, they came around quickly, like I knew they would and it was all behind us. Still, Dimitri is such a good man, the fact that there was any avoidable friction between him and my parents was a little hard.

I wish I could have stayed with Lissa. I wanted us to be able to sit down and talk about what to do next in this crazy situation, but she was spirited away from me before we could talk. But even as we walked away from one another, our bond still held strong. Strong enough to ease some of the apprehension that is building up inside of me once more. I'm going to go gray before long and die of stress not long after that at this rate. This experience is going to kill me, I swear.

And no, God, that isn't a request or a challenge. Just a bit of dramatic phrasing. Promise.

This wasn't like the last time we were walking this hall, going to separate councilors to get our schedules for the remainder of the term. Unlike the last time we went through this, I have control of the bond. It's been a few years since I've last felt the bond, but it all comes back to me without even the smallest hiccup. It's nice to be able to drone out while other's are talking and filter into Lissa's mind whenever I'm bored. Not that I could do it now, I'm walking to my first class with the other dhampir's, and would more than likely run into a pillar or another student.

Surprisingly enough, I was the dhampir, not the Moroi, and yet I had a personal escort all the way to my class. Not that I minded Dimitri being there. I'm sure Lissa got her own escort, but a part of me wondered what they thought I would do. I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left for Lissa. And I took her with me. Oh well, walking in silence with Dimitri, I could close my eyes and almost imagine that we were back in Court after a long day. Our schedules lined up neatly with one another and we were able to leave guard duty and walk back home together.

Sure, we were hand-in-hand, unlike now. But in the fantasy, we are, and it's nice. It's nice to immerse myself in the fantasy where he and I are together. Walking side-by-side down the halls stopping to share a chaste kiss before we continued on.

What wouldn't I give to be with my sexy Russian eye-candy? To be able to throw him against the wall and kiss him crazy. But I can't. I can't reach out and grab him to me, kiss him crazy and send him on his merry way. I can't share steamy eyes with him or take his hand. I can't because he doesn't love me. I can't because he isn't mine. I can't because he wouldn't understand.

He spares me a look in the corner of his eye but doesn't say anything as we go. I can't imagine what he would have to wonder about. Nothing's really happened yet. I mean, if it's a few weeks from now, or say, tomorrow morning, when he gives me one of his own hair ties because today he won't have thought about it and realize I have _molnija_ and _zvezda_ marks, then I could understand what he would have to wonder about. I'm still not all that sure how to explain why I have my marks. I have a very limited amount of time to try and figure that out.

Someone could notice my marks in class today, if I don't think of something to say soon, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I wish Lissa and I could have had a moment or two to talk about that at least. I'm worried about what we are both making up in our time apart from one another. I can at least try to match my stories with her's from what I see and hear through our bond, but she's going to be flying blind.

Once I get back to my room, I'm going to have to email her, since I don't have my phone anymore. Now that's really taking me back. I didn't get a cell phone until after I got back to Court and proved my innocence about the death of the late - now no longer late - Queen Tatiana Ivashkov. The first thing that Abe did after rubbing it in everyone's face, was buy me a cell phone as a good-job-on-proving-your-innocence-and-causing-a-commotion-at-the-dreary-and-boring-Court present. So, that was nice of him.

I like that he can easily forget that he hasn't seen me a day before my eighteenth birthday. I mean, his ability to think he's a good dad when he has a long way to go is an astounding skill. I think a lot of Moroi men have that ability. Hm.

Not to say that Abe and I don't have a good relationship now that he's around. Or, I mean, we did. Before this.

What am I going to do? I can't hide my marks. I can't pretend that I'm not a Guardian, or a damn good one - if I do say so myself. I highly doubt that Lissa can go back to being Princess when she's obviously built to be a Queen. I don't think the chemistry that we have built as Queen and Guardian can be stopped now that we are Princess and Novice.

Novice? Oh, hell no. I busted my ass to be a Guardian. I think there is only one thing that I can do in this situation: lie my ass off. Well, enough that I am going to go to bed each night hating myself for them.

Once we get to my first class, I almost lose feeling in my legs when my eyes land on a very familiar red head's pure white teeth flashing my way.

"There she is!" Mason laughs. He spreads his arms open wide in a greeting that I couldn't refuse. This will probably be one of the few times in my life that I will walk from Dimitri for another man whom I've wanted to see more. And the irony in that isn't lost on me.

"Mason..." I whisper, hugging him tightly.

Mason laughs, giving me a friendly squeeze, but his hands linger a touch too long before we pull away from each other. When he goes in for our handshake, I'm ready for it. It was something Eddie and I continued doing long after Mason was killed.

He seems pleased that I remembered and somehow it hurts me. I didn't remember because of him. I remembered because of Eddie. And that feels like betrayal too. But he is none the wiser and smiles away completely oblivious to the fact that I know if things continue as they are, he will die before the year's end.

But that isn't going to happen. I won't allow it. That, God, you're going to have to kill me first.

Eddie steps up next and a part of me is relieved that the horrors of Spokane don't shine in his eyes now like they did in the days leading up to my death - err again. Mason was my friend and I cared a lot about him, but Eddie and Madon were best friends. They were closer than close. They were like Lissa and me, strip away one of us being a Guardian. Their friendship would have lasted forever, had Mason lived.

I hug Eddie and it feels distant. I love him like a brother. I am protective of him in every sense of the world. But to him, we are just friends that haven't seen each other in a few years. I have lived through a lifetime of change. A few of them, I think. It is so strange to be back here in this moment, the two mes, the one that should be here and the one that is, feel like they couldn't be more different. It feels like who I was at this moment is someone that no longer exists. I know I said something similar while I was still at St. Vladamir's, but it couldn't feel any truer now.

And now... well, now I feel like I'm drowning in my own past. I'm twenty-three year old Rose, trapped in seventeen year old Rose's reality.

* * *

So I didn't get my ass handed to me like I had the first time. A sick bit of pleasure came from showing my classmates that even after all this time, I still had it. I wasn't to be easily outdone. But I knew the truth in my heart, it was all a lie. I am a Guardian pitted against Novices. That's hardly fair, and I wasn't exactly going easy on any of them. Mason, Eddie, even Meredith whom I sparred with a few times before class was over got thrown around. I'm used to dealing with fully minted Guardians and Strigoi, hell, my training partner is considered a God amongst the Guardians.

Once you spend enough time doing that, Novices is like nothing. Well, not nothing. Mason managed to knock me on my back before I kicked his legs out from beneath him. And Eddie managed a good chokehold that would have worked if he hadn't left his stance open as wide as he did. Giving me perfect access to his gut with my elbow. He's lucky I didn't aim lower.

But by the end of class, people were already welcoming me back as if I never left, and in awe over my skills.

"You were just like a real Guardian," Meredith said, rubbing at the back of her neck. "Did you graduate while you were away?"

It was a joke. She doesn't have the ability to see into the future, cause if she did, she would have been able to at least best me once in our bouts, but her words gave me a great idea. Well, not a great idea, a lie that I can weave as my own. I'm not sure for how long and how far I can take it, but it's all I've got at this point. A part of me considered just lying to Dimitri, tell him I'm undercover somehow protecting Lissa as a Novice, but I would still have to somehow explain my marks in class to my fellows. My Instructor has already given me a lot of flack as it is for having my hair down and this is day one.

"Wear it up or cut it, Hathaway, those are your choices," she had said in annoyance. Like I didn't already know that.

I have some serious apprehensions as I make my way to Stan's class. This is it. This is where I'm going to begin to weave my lie together. I have to be careful about what I say. I have to make it believable without giving everything away and backing myself into a corner. And lie my ass off with enough truth to keep Dimitri's bullshit sensing abilities none the wiser.

I find my seat and rub the sweat off my hands onto my thighs. It's been a while since I was dressed down in my salvation army threads. I've gotten so used to wearing my boots and leather jacket outside of my Guardian attire, that it's odd without them. I can hear Eddie and Mason having a conversation with me in the middle of it, but I am trying so hard to get into the zone and pray that I can make this work. The only other option would be to flee the school, join the keepers and live out the rest of my days batting Joshua off with a stick.

Yeah, no.

"Ah, Rose," Stan says, pulling me from my thoughts, "why don't you come to the front of the class and tell us about your experience out in the world these last two years?"

Maybe if I pretended it would be my pleasure, he would be spiteful enough to not let me go up there. "Do you mind?" I ask politely. Sure, Stan and I aren't ever on good terms, it seems, but he's a good Instructor and Guardian. We might not be the other's favorite person, but that doesn't mean I can't try and be cordial.

Stan smiles like he sees through my ploy. With a grand wave of his hand like a circus ringleader preparing to reveal the tiger on stage, he sweeps his arm and says, "Be my guest, Novice Hathaway." Well, alright then.

I stand up, keeping my moves purposeful and calculated. I wanted to be the perfect picture of calm and cool, even as my classmates "ooh"d and "ahh"d as I made my way to the front. I didn't want them to hear my heart pounding in my chest or see that I was worried sick about how this was all going to play out. I'm not good at lying. I never have been. I'm afraid that everyone can see on my face how worried I am.

As I walk to the front of the room where Stan is waiting for me, I force my shoulders to relax and my breathing to even out. I stop next to Stan, take one more breath before I turn around, fold my hands neatly behind my back, spread my legs out shoulder length apart, and relax. I can see a peculiar look cross over my classmates' faces as they try to put fifteen-year-old Rose in the place of seventeen-year-old Rose. But they aren't getting either. I'm not that girl anymore. She may make surprise appearances once and a while, but she isn't all of who I am anymore. I'm older, smarter, more calculative and more patient than fifteen - or seventeen - year old Rose ever was.

"What would you like me to talk about, Guardian Alto?" I ask, impressed that my voice is completely steady considering I'm gripping my hands so tightly behind my back that it almost hurts.

"Well," he says slowly. He crosses his arms over his chest and hums to himself. In the height of his pitched humming, my eyes find Dimitri, standing in the back of the room, staring down at me with beautiful, impossibly dark brown eyes that I could gaze into forever. "How about, since this is a protection class, you tell me about how you... um, _protected_ Princess Vasilisa?"

"Lissa," I say automatically.

"What?"

"Nothing," I mumble. I take a deep breath, then ask, heart racing and blood roaring in my ears, "Before or after?"

Stan looks understandably perplexed by the question. "Before or after what?"

"Before or after I became a Guardian?" I ask. I have to applaud myself. I don't need a mirror to know that my face is completely stoic. My Guardian mask, usually used for when I'm dealing with royals by Lissa's side has fallen over my face. It's easy to find that place, to mask myself behind the facade.

Stan stares back at me like he didn't understand, my classmates all look like I'm speaking a different language and for a second I wondered if maybe I slipped into either Russian, which I'm basically fluent in or Turkish, where I can hold up a good conversation in. But I'm sure that I spoke English. Dimitri and Yuri weren't the only ones in the room that looked like they at least understood the words coming out of my mouth.

I'm not sure how many others knew Russian or Turkish. I've heard Yuri and Dimitri speak Russian to one another, and I know that Stan at least understood keywords in Russian. Whereas Dimitri can speak fluent English and Russian, he knows a bit of Turkish and was my conversation partner when I wasn't testing myself out on Abe. If Dimitri had some idea of what I was trying to say, and I could sort of understand him, then I would try my hand at a short conversation in Turkish with my old man.

"What did you say?" Stan asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Before or after I became a Guardian?" I repeat, turning my eyes to him. I can stare down Strigoi hundreds of years old. Stan Alto may be an intimidating man, but he wasn't worse than a Strigoi. He can be close, though when he wants to be. Like now.

Every time I say that Stan looks more and more perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"You said you wanted to know about my protection methods for Lissa. I want to know what you mean. Before, or after I graduated and became a Guardian?" I impress even myself with how calm my voice sounds. I can't even talk about the weather that calmly.

"Shit, Hathaway," one of my peers finally recovers. "You're not even back half a day and you're already making up stories?" That gets a few playful jeers from my former classmates. Now that someone has written me off, everyone else is ready to follow their lead. The idea of me being a Guardian is so far out of the realm of possibility to them I'm actually insulted. I haven't seen these bastards in years and this is how they treat me?

I mean, sure. It's completely unheard of for someone who's my age claiming to be a Guardian. That just doesn't happen. But I know something that isn't well known. There are special Academies around the world that are just for dhampirs training to become Guardians. There isn't a lot of them, maybe around five in the whole world, that does special, accelerated training programs for Novices. It's rigorous and brutal and most can't do it.

I only knew about it through Lissa. The biggest Academy specifically tailored for this is in Europe with it's highest graduating class being fifty in the last two hundred years. That was insane. It's not uncommon for these Academies to produce a graduating class of one or two newly minted Guardians. Everyone else either has dropped out or has to start again from the beginning of that year to perfect everything they had done wrong.

It's so exclusive, so reclusive, that only one person I know of, is a graduate of one of these schools. Yep, Dimitri. He didn't graduate early. Technically, a lot don't. Unless someone is exceedingly special. But the school usually recruits someone from a young age and trains them for about ten years. Dimitri graduated in five years if that proves anything.

Do I feel vain alluding that I am one such person that came from this school? Uh, yeah. I feel like a fake and fool. But it's exclusive and to the Guardians - anyone worth their salt, at least - has heard about it as rumors or stories. But even in my time, it's not something that's common. I'm not going to delve too deep into that. I'm not going to outright say it. Just... let them think it.

I'm going to hell.

Mason and Eddie look at each other, confused. Not immediately jumping onto the Rose-is-a-liar bandwagon. That's some real friends right there.

"Sure," I say, ignoring the Novice, "when Lissa and I first ran off I wasn't nearly as vigilant as I should have been and we were lucky that we didn't run into any problems. We... ran into Psi-hounds at one point and somehow managed to get away. I knew after that we needed to go somewhere safe. So we followed some trails and went to Siberia to an Academy there for me to finish my training. Lissa went to a regular public school while I was there."

"That's impossible, you were on the run from the Academy, there were alerts out for you across the grid," Dean, another Novice, says.

I smile at him, having expected this. "No there wasn't. There was one out for Lissa. Not me. Nobody knew who Rosemarie Hathaway was, and no one cared." It's true, Lissa's name was everywhere and St. Vladamir knew that I was with her, but all the Guardians and Moroi of other Academies didn't. Everyone was only looking for the Dragomir Princess. No one was looking for little ol' me. It was easier for me to slide beneath the radar so long as it wasn't someone from my school. Not that I really went anywhere without Lissa often, but I had seen my fair share of dhampirs while we were on the run. No Guardians though.

And no one in this room could deny that. We were all dhampirs. We are all second rate to Moroi. With a Princess missing, even if Kirova remembered to send my name to Court, it would have been lost in the paperwork easy. No one really cares about dhampir children missing. Not when a Moroi child is missing. Especially if that Moroi child was a Royal, and the last of her bloodline.

Nope, no competition there. No one could refute that.

"I finished my training quickly and was Promised. After that, I returned to Lissa and we went on our way." I lean from one hip to the other before leaning back on them. I can see Dimitri in the back of the class, he's hard to miss even standing amongst other Guardians with his long duster and large stature. He's staring holes right through me. If he wasn't interested in me before, he sure is now. Or, at least curious, I mean.

"You've got a Promise mark?" Eddie asks. "Really?"

"I wanna see," Meredith says, leaning forward in her seat. Yeah, now everyone wants to see that because that way they can prove I'm a liar. That, and I'm sure they are having fun not having to listen to anything that isn't Stan rambling on and on about things they've already heard before. Just a little more in depth each year. I'm amusing to them for now.

I reach up and touch my neck, conflicted. They need proof and this is the most surefire way of proving it. But the back of my neck is the story of my life. It paints all the painful things in my life, how many times I've thrown myself into danger. Thrown myself against Strigoi and won. At least enough times that others have bore witness to. It's not something easy to see.

Thinking back on seventeen-year-old Rose seeing Dimitri's molnija marks and commenting on them in the car... it makes sense now why he covered them up. We are supposed to show them off, as proof that we are both Promised and that we have experience in killing Strigoi, but it's personal. It's very personal. It would be no different than stripping me down right now in front of everyone. I'm sure some of those little horndogs wouldn't mind that in the least. But Stan understands. Dimitri understands. All the Guardians understand what they are asking of me and how personal it is.

How many marks on my neck - how many known Strigoi I've killed - probably pales in comparison to those I lost along the way. And pales in comparison to how many those Strigoi probably killed before they met me. And now, every single one of them is alive again out there. Hunting, killing, with no guarantee that I will run across them again. Or that I will be able to kill them a second time.

Dimitri understands. When my eyes lock with his, I see the sadness there. He understands the feeling of wanting to hide the most intimate part of your soul away. It's what he's good at. Killing a Strigoi isn't the honor that Novices think they are. Killing Strigoi is promising at least one person that they will never take another step in this world, ever again. It's never a good thing. Even if more of us survive because that Strigoi is gone. In a sick, twisted and even unorthodox way of looking at it, it's still murder.

That Strigoi used to be a person. A person who probably didn't even want to become a Strigoi. They might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, like Dimitri. Or felt that they had no other options, like Sonya.

"Once," I promise myself. "I will show it only once like some kind of badge of honor and never again." Confusion flickers over the faces of my former classmates because they were all still too young to understand. They won't understand until they've killed someone. Until they've killed a Strigoi. If they kill a Strigoi. If they aren't killed by a Strigoi, that is.

I gather up all my hair, turning my own eyes up to Dimitri, wondering what he's thinking. I see his hands following my hands, but there is something in his eyes that I recognize, something that stirs hope in my gut and pushes me forward with my choice even though I'm very much starting to second guess myself, even though I'm trapped in an impossible situation. There is just something in his eyes that give me the feeling that he has my back. That he understands what is being asked of me and he's silently offering me his strength.

He means it kindly, I know he does. But it means more to me then he will ever be able to understand. I have come to rely on him so much that being without that feeling is... hard. Very hard. Maybe one day, if I can somehow get him to fall in love with me, I will be able to tell him all about this strange situation. Or, somehow I will just be able to go back to moments leading up to Lissa's and my own death and tell him about it.

All of my hair is gathered up into a messy bun on the top of my head, using one of my hands to hold it in place before I take one more breath, force myself to relax, and turn around to show off the back of my neck.


	4. Danger Triad

**Author's Note: Yay! An update spree! I hope to keep the ball rolling and start working on the next chapter to another story. I'm sorry about the long wait, but I have to say, everyone's support in this story has really built my confidance in it. I do really hope you all continue to enjoy and that your day is half as wonderful as you are! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

 **Warnings: Rose's foul mouth, mentions of death, OOCness and unbeta'd.**

 **Word Count: 6, 910**

"You are such a liar, Rose," Dean says.

"Yeah, I can't believe we believed that for a second!" Meredith laughs, nudging one of the guys next to her. Stan looks annoyed, Dimitri looks away and the class erupts into jeers, the din filling the room. I drop my hair turn around and head back to my seat so that class can continue. Eddie and Mason both nudge me when I sit, telling me I got them good. I would pretend to be embarrassed and keep to myself until I met up with Lissa later. By then, the rumor of me being a liar has spread like wildfire and now everyone is staring at us for an entirely different reason.

Just kidding. I kind of wish that was what happened. Because even being called a liar and written off as such for the rest of the brutal school year somehow would have been better than the collective gasp and dead silence that follows. Anything to stop this deafening silence. My heart is beating so loud in my chest and I feel embarrassed. This feels so wrong, so bad. No one else would have been asked this. No one else would have to show themselves off like this. Maybe it's not all that bad and I'm simply being overly sensitive about it because of my history, but this moment has to be one of the worst.

And the point that makes it so bad is my class has no idea how bad it is, but the Guardian's do. It's like admitting to Dimitri that everyone was calling me a blood whore. It was embarrassing and degrading. It hurt.

But only this once. No one else. If they want to see if it's true, they'll look at my neck when I walk by with my hair up. That's it.

I let my hair slide through my fingers and down my back. I wiggle my fingers to get all the loose strands from between them before turning around. I turn around slowly, willing my racing heart to slow down. This is nothing. I've faced down Strigoi, Royals, my parents. This is nothing. This is my peers from school, most of which I don't see again. At least in the five years that follow leaving the Academy.

I face all of those things with more grace than I'm facing my _peers_. Dimitri was right about something; I'm all screwy with my moral compass and my rational one.

Scanning the astonished, disbelieving face of my peers, I can't help but find it funny. I've spent my entire schooling career awing people with what I say and what I do, that finally just telling the truth - well, in a twisted way - I get the reaction that I've always gotten. People are astonished. People are speechless. I think they were ready to call me out on a big lie too. And I think they are racking their brains trying to figure out how I go so many _molnija and zvezda_ markings in such a short amount of time. It's unbelievable. It's beyond comprehension. If anyone believed it was true, maybe I would have one or two _molnija_ marks but I had many more than anyone anticipated.

Even Dimitri, master of his facial expression and controller of his calm, has wide eyes and parted lips. Any of them who know my mother, who have met her before and seen all of the marks she's got, probably think me the second coming. My neck's not completely covered up just yet, but I've got a lot of markings. Even for a girl twenty-three-years old. Notwithstanding the fact that I am supposed to be seventeen.

That just makes this entire thing unbelievable.

"I learned very quickly that the way I was protecting Lissa wasn't right. I got lucky that we didn't run into any Strigoi while I was still riding on the idea that I had this all covered," I say, folding my hands behind me, giving everyone a moment to pull back from their thoughts. If Stan wanted to know my methods, I would tell him. Besides, someone else might find it useful in how they protect Moroi.

Once people start blinking out of their shock, I continue, "I had to learn quickly a few very important things that weren't taught in school if I wanted to be adequate protection for Lissa. The first was my method of protection. No matter what room I'm in, or building I go into whether it's premeditative or spur of the moment, I will know or figure out everything I need. Three simples things in each and every room and building I go into. One; where are all the exits and entrances. Two; where is all of the weapons I could use, and three; where is the Danger Triad and on what level am I dealing with them?"

I give my stunned classmates a moment to digest that information.

Eddie is the first to visibly recover. Probably seeing me now as less of a fellow and more like a superior, he raises his hand in question. I nod at him, kind of weirded out by his actions. "What is the Danger Triad?"

"The three most dangerous things that one can come across out there in the world as a Guardian. This one I learned quite a bit after I graduated but it's become so ingrained into me it feels like I've been doing it for a lifetime," I admit. "Tell me, does anyone know the three most dangerous things you can come across out there?"

"Strigoi," Mason says, eyes were blown wide. It's a common first thought for us dhampir, yet that somehow actually hurt me. It's like even now the threat on Mason's life hangs over him.

"Good," I say, surprised I didn't choke on that. "You've got the least dangerous of the three. What are the two most dangerous?"

A small, sick part of me finds some amusement in everyone's eyes looking around the room and at each other. No one knowing the answers. And that's okay. I honestly don't expect them to know. It's not something taught in the Academy. It's simply something I learned out in the real world. They may not believe it when I tell them, but in years to come, I hope that they come to understand. And maybe it helps someone. Sometimes I wish someone had taught me this before I left the Academy.

"I don't think you'll guess it, so I'll tell you. The second most dangerous thing you will encounter out there is Moroi. Now, I already know what you are thinking; is Rose high? How can a Moroi be dangerous? We face Strigoi to protect them." I take a moment to look around the room to make sure I've got everyone's attention. I do. Even the Guardians, who have usually heard all of the lectures in these classes before, aren't staring on glassy-eyed. They are listening to me too. Maybe I'm about to say something that they always knew, but didn't know they knew.

I may be able to help someone after all.

"How are the Moroi more dangerous than a Strigoi?" One of the other Novices asks incredulously.

"Because we know Strigoi. We know what they want and what they are willing to do to get it. They either want to kill you, drink your blood, take you away, or take you and your Moroi away. Simple, easy as that," I tell them, voice surprisingly level, even with the flashes of Dimitri behind my eyelids every time I blink. How his face looked at me before he was swallowed up by the growing horde of Strigoi that had surrounded him in that cave. Even now, years later - or years prior? - it is still fresh in my mind.

No one could deny that, as painful as it is. That's the world that we live in.

"Moroi's danger comes from their unpredictability," I tell them. "In a moment of danger, like being cornered by a Strigoi, or any other dangers that can come about out there in the real world, a Moroi can do any number of things without prompt. Run when they need to stay. Stay when they need to run. Panic when they need to stay calm. Draw attention to themselves when they need to hide away. Throw themselves in harm's way when they need to keep guard." I shift my weight from one foot to the other, trying to release a little bit of the tension from my hips. "No amount of prompting or conditioning can get eliminate the lethality that such an unpredictable element provides in such a dangerous situation. That is why they are number two of the most dangerous things you can come across out there. You never know what they are going to do next."

"Have you ever had that happen to you?" One of my classmates asks.

I nod. I've had that happen to me more times than I care to admit. I think about Spokane, when Mia came back after Mason died and saved me from Isaiah, she was out in the sunlight, she was free. I think about the attack on the Academy when I was losing my fight against those Strigoi and Christian lit one up when he should have been trying to run for safety. I think about Lissa, at Court, when Tasha took Mia hostage. She should have sat back and let the Guardians handle the issue, but that's not Lissa. That isn't who she is. That isn't who Christian and Mia are either. They are people who are willing to do what they can to help those in need. I can't blame them for it, seeing as in two of those scenarios they were trying to save my life and with Lissa... well, she just thought that Mia's life was in danger and wanted to protect her.

"It's not what you expect," I tell them, pulling myself away from those memories. "Danger comes in so many different forms. Most of the time it is unintentional. Not a lot of things go out one day with the intention of just hurting or killing someone. They are unintentional consequences of one thing or another." I shake my head a bit. "But the number one most dangerous thing you can run into out there is a Guardian."

That gets the reaction I was expecting. Now all my classmates are talking at once, arguing with me on that. We are going to Guardians - I _am_ a Guardian - so why would we be dangerous to each other. I am able to explain the Moroi part to them well enough. I mean, we just went over this. I told them about Moroi, they lost their minds, I explained it and they believed me. Now we are on Guardians. Rinse, lather, repeat. No faith at all.

But I let them talk, let them argue until they are ready to hear why I would say that. Why I would consider Guardians more dangerous than Moroi or even Strigoi? Well, the answer is so simple.

"A true, good Guardian isn't a Guardian for the sake of other Guardians. We are Guardians for the sake of Moroi." Silence once more. No one could dispute that. Sometimes, my Rose-logic happens to be tinged with actual logic. "We don't go through our schooling here with the mantra of 'Guardians unite against the Strigoi foes before us'." A dry laugh escapes me as I shake my head. "It's 'they come first'. The Moroi come first, which is why they are my number one. Because a true Guardian will do anything and everything for their Moroi. It's how we were raised, how we were trained."

I think they are starting to understand and I have to wonder if Dimitri had the issue of going up against Guardians before Victor had kidnapped Lissa, based on his reaction in here. He lowers his eyes for a moment, probably being lost in thoughts about that moment he's thinking of. To be honest, this was such a terrible time in my life that I didn't even really think about this afterward. I guess I just figured that he was protective enough to take the fact that Lissa was in danger and Guardians were involved... well, he took it in stride. But maybe, as I already know, Guardians coming into conflict with other Guardians is more the norm than I had originally thought.

"We do anything for our Moroi, but when they come into conflict with another Moroi and a Guardian with the same training, the same mindset, and the same dedication and there comes the biggest problem. This goes beyond survival, like Strigoi, and emotions, like Moroi. It's identity. It's who we are and what we stand for. The building blocks of our foundation, our creation, our childhood, and our future is based almost solely on the protection and preservation of our Moroi. It's a volatile concoction when the Moroi starts coming into conflict with one another."

I sigh, shaking my head.

"Wait, are you talking about Moroi fighting against other Moroi?" One of my classmates asks incredulously. "That doesn't happen."

"Why not? Are all the Moroi in this school best friends?" I ask, looking between my classmates. "Do we all love one another and dedicate our lives to the ambitions of others without a thought to ourselves? No. We are all beings of free will. We may do as we are told, but we don't like all the orders and we are able to think for ourselves. Moroi in all their majesty and greatness aren't immune to petty squabbles and arguments, in fact, if anything, they do that better than pretty much anything else."

"Are you saying other Guardians are dangerous because if they are loyal to their Moroi and do whatever they say, even if it's against our laws, that it makes them more dangerous because they know everything we do, how we do everything?" Eddie asks, brown eyes wide.

I nod. "Yes. Good people exist. So do bad. Good Moroi, bad Moroi. Good Guardians, bad Guardians."

The class mumbles amongst themselves, trying to decide just how full of crap that I am. While they are busy doing that, I turn to look at Stan, wondering why he hasn't stopped me yet, which I sort of figured he would. Maybe the revelation that someone may have passed me was enough shock to kill him. When I catch him just staring back at me unmoving I wondered if I was right and his death was so swift, his muscles atrophied in mere moments basically turning him to stone where he stands.

I wait a moment more like maybe my eyes held the cure to his petrification, but when he doesn't recover right away, I look back over the class, my eyes traveling to the back of the room to Dimitri. He's staring back, dark eyes swimming with all of the thoughts not spreading across his face. That's always been something that he's been good at, keeping what he's thinking locked deep inside where only he was privy to. As good as he is, as _great_ as he is about many things, I have learned to read him.

He's listening with rapt attention, he's absorbing every word I'm saying, analyzing it and filing it away. Wise and logical Dimitri can understand what I'm saying and even accept it as reality. He's not so blinded by emotion - like I am - that he can't see truth and logic when it's being thrown in his face. I am throwing his brain for a loop, though.

In his eyes, I'm seventeen. I'm young and bullheaded and when he handed my ass to me outside of our shared apartment in Portland, it was to be expected. I was a seventeen-year-old Novice who hadn't been in school for two years. Of course, a skilled, lethal Guardian in tip-top shape such as himself would be able to throw me around as easily as he had. But here I am, not even ten hours later telling him I'm just as dangerous and lethal as him. That for all intents and purposes, I have killed more Strigoi than he and have the marks on my neck to prove it.

He can't figure out what changed in the few hours between him kicking my ass and me now proving I should, technically, be his equal. His eyes won't let him see twenty-three-year-old Rose, because before his very eyes I'm seventeen.

That and, just this morning he was bullied into training me thinking that I would be two years behind everyone else. Now he's probably wondering why I didn't just come out and say that I was a Guardian to Kirova in the first place.

Shit. What are the chances they aren't going to think to ask that?

"Once I've figured out those three things," I say slowly, remembering how I originally got to this conversation, "where are the exits and entrances, weapons I can use and the Danger Triad, I react accordingly," I reiterate, figuring they forgot as well as I do what sent us down the road, to begin with. This was still a protection class, if anyone can take a little bit of what I learned and use it - even _improve_ upon it - then I'll be happy.

Maybe this could help Eddie. Maybe it could save Mason.

A part of me wanted to tell them about Mason and Eddie and Spokane. I wanted to tell them about my ignorance and foolishness and how quickly things can go from being childish to dangerous. There were so many things that gave me pause. I couldn't mention Adrian, I hadn't met him yet, and I could tell them about how he reminded me about magic by him using Spirit to dream walk to me. I couldn't use anyone's name, namely two in the class with me at this moment and two Moroi who I haven't spoken to before. I couldn't mention Spokane or the Strigoi killings in specific - about how they were working with humans and killing large groups within the royal families. I couldn't even give the time of year or why we were away from the Academy. Plus, if I'm going to a Guardian school, why the hell would I be around Moroi kids my age without building more of a lie?

It's hard too, but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if maybe it was right to tell them the cliff notes. The parts I could get away with without fact-checking. I can't look at Eddie or Mason as I talk, making sure to steal myself. I think back to when my mother came to this very class and told us about how she and a few other Guardians managed to fight off Strigoi, and try and pull from that moment. I omit all the names, preferring to keep their identity safe is what I told them, but I just wasn't sure I would be able to lie enough to make it believable as well as I'm not sure if I would be able to make up a name for them and remember it.

I use facts. The only thing I said in a description of the Moroi is the boy has fire magic, the girl has water, and the dhampir with me were both boys. I describe the house, using the whiteboard behind me to draw out the layout of the two floors I was on, the main level and the basement. I explained the set-up of the room that we were held in and the living room where the action took place. I explained what the Strigoi wanted and how they kept drinking from one of the dhampirs - Eddie - and how we escaped. I omit the humans involved and how exactly we were captured other than we were caught off guard.

I tell them that we used the Moroi boy to burn away our binds with fire magic then we went upstairs and made a break for the exit. I tell them that I found a gun on the premises and was able to get a shot off on the female Strigoi which bought everyone enough time to escape, the sunlight scaring the Strigoi into the living room to get away from it. Taking me with them. Cut off from the sunlight and my chance to escape.

"I want to say that this was the moment that I found my groove, that I kicked ass and saved the day, but I would be lying," I tell them, voice level even though my chest is hurting and it's hard to breathe. "I was trapped. I couldn't break away from them and the only reason I wasn't dead in that very moment was because they started arguing with one another. Long enough for one of my fellow novices to come back. And he became the bigger threat than me. He came back not for honor or duty. He came back because he loved me."

It's a stigma. Sort of. It's almost unheard of. A dhampir male coming back for a dhampir female to save her life from Strigoi isn't unheard of. It's not strange in that regard. It's that I admitted that love and acknowledged something that is pretty... um, unusual in our society. Teenagers can play around with teenagers, but once we become adults it's not common. There isn't a reason for two dhampir to be together. We can't further our race. At least, as far as they know. But I know something that they don't. I know that there is a very real possibility that Dimitri and I could have kids.

Even now we don't know if one needs to be ingrained with Spirit, or if both partners need to be. If it's one, then even now Dimitri and I are good seeing as I'm Shadow Kissed but if it needs both of us, then I'm never going to be able to have his kids because everyone is dead wrong if they think that I'm going to let Dimitri be turned Strigoi again just so we can have kids together - er, if I can somehow win him over again - even though I want his kids and it was something we talked a lot about and even started using protection to keep ourselves safe until we were ready, we still wanted them. We still were planning on having children once we got married and we were financially stable.

Guardians don't get paid a lot. And while most of our needs were paid for by our society, we weren't going to be able to afford taking care of a child, childcare and ourselves at the moment. We needed to save up. And we were. Dimitri had a decent - it was honestly impressive to me but I shouldn't be surprised considering how frugal he is with his money on a good day - saved up but we wanted more. He bought my ring himself and he wanted to pay for our wedding himself, although we both knew Abe was going to stick his big Turkish nose into it, we still wanted to do a lot of it ourselves, and that would have drained him dry. We needed to save up more.

And now... now we may never get the chance. But I can't think about that. Not now.

"The Strigoi killed him. Killed him because... well, he could." I look down at the ground, ignoring the way my voice cracked. I can't look at Eddie, or Mason. Especially Mason. I can't look at him because behind my eyelids I see him crystal clear. His eyes wide with the shine gone from them, his neck twisted unnaturally as he is thrown half-hazardously onto the floor for Elena or whatever her name was to drink from. Like he wasn't alive just a moment ago. As if his life isn't important. Well, to them, it wasn't.

But he was to me, and at that moment, he was gone. He was killed as if he didn't matter and left to be drained just the same. I explain how Mia saved my life - without using her name - using the aquarium I mentioned briefly beforehand to drowned him until I stabbed him into unconsciousness while the female Strigoi was distracted by the female Moroi, yet unable to get to get to her. I then explain how I killed the female Strigoi with the sword, by cutting her head off and then the male Strigoi's head rolled after.

I didn't talk about staying behind and cry over his body. I didn't talk about the numbness. I just stopped talking after "and then I cut his head off too." Nothing. No one speaks, not right away. No one knowing what to say. It's one thing for someone no one knows personally to talk about losing someone on the field, but they know me. I'm familiar to them. I'm one of them, as far as they know. I'm their age - er, sort of. At this age, we're unstoppable. Or so we thought. Life is so fragile, so delicate.

One moment, one decision and it's all ripped away.

"That moment was one of the biggest moments of life. One of the most impactful. That was probably the moment I began to take those three steps. It's slow and steady over time, but this was the beginning. Who I am today, really started in that moment. In this world, an infinite number of people will hate you. For things, you can control, things that you can't. Your skin color, height, weight, size, race. If it's something about you, someone will find a reason to hate you for it. But only a finite amount of people will love you. For who you are or what you do. Never take them for granted, because you'll never know when they are gone."

Too much. Too serious. Too much twenty-three-year-old Rose and not enough seventeen-year-old Rose.

So I smile, a toothy half smile that not even I believe in. "So I take what that situation taught me. I take what every situation has taught me and utilize it to the best of my abilities today. Lissa is my priority. I will protect her from anything that threatens her. My methods tend to be pretty straightforward and a lot of calculations done at the moment, but I am confident that I can protect her. She may not be perfectly safe with me at her side, because danger is always prevalent no matter if it's just us or there are a hundred Guardians with us to help, but I do know one thing for certain," I pause, thinking about every time Lissa has been taken away from me, kidnapped or hurt. Victor, Strigoi Dimitri, and Preston Callic are just a few names that come to mind. I stare back at my classmates, folding my hands behind my back and spreading my legs out in a relaxed stance. "Lissa is a hundred times safer with me at her side than she is if I'm not."

* * *

Lissa links her arm through mine as soon as I step into the hall after two more classes following Stan's, directing us toward the cafeteria. I've been the subject of conversation in the whispering halls since Stan's class ended. My fellow Novices spreading the news in the halls so by the time that Lissa caught me, it had somehow already reached her, even though Novices are separated from Moroi in the beginning of the day.

"Wow, Rose. I don't know what to say," Lissa says as we walk.

"Your hair looks amazing even though it hasn't seen a brush in hours and probably won't until my inheritance is released from captivity by the Moroi Royals?" I squint at her.

Lissa rolls her eyes. "Your hair looks great, as always. But I mean about the little stunt in Stan's class."

"I know what you meant, but it's not something we have to talk about right now."

Lissa raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean? I feel like now is a pretty good time to talk about it."

I turn my eyes into the darkness and spot a dark shadow hiding in it, almost blending into it perfectly. He caught me the first time, but now I can spot him in utter blackness. It's like a sixth sense, now. I'm so acutely aware of him, I could pick his voice out of a crowd, find him in the dark blindfolded, and just know he's near by the feeling washing over me.

Lissa's eyebrows pull together, then she follows my line of sight, looking past Dimitri at first, but then a shock zips through her as she spots him the second time. Her eyesight is better than mine, but not trained to find dhampir Guardian Gods hiding in the darkness.

"Oh! Should I..?" She looks between us.

"Go ahead to the cafeteria, I'll meet you there. Careful of you-know-who and don't say anything. We'll talk when I get there." I lean closer and whisper as quietly as I can so that even she can barely hear me, "Victor is prowling around here too. Just go."

A look of distaste and mistrust crosses her face but she manages to cover it up. She nods, sparing Dimitri a curious glance before turning back to me, taking my hands. "Don't be too long, we have much to discuss before lunch ends."

I nod, giving her hands a squeeze. "Gotcha."

She pulls her hands back and starts toward the cafeteria, stopping to look over at Dimitri, who steps out of the shadows and bows his head to her. She smiles sadly and I feel her pain. She misses Dimitri. He's so close that only a few steps separate them yet she couldn't reach him. He's miles away from her. She misses the bond they had. The closeness. She's hoping that they will be able to bridge the gap sooner than they had originally. She hopes that it won't take her bringing him back from Strigoi-death to build that bond. She wants that now.

Same.

"Guadian Belikov," Lissa says sweetly, offering a pretty smile.

He tips his head to her a bit, respectfully. "Princess Vasilisa."

Her smiles faulters. She swallows thickly, shoots me a look of sadness before retreating toward the cafeteria with hastened steps, sadness washing over her. Dimitri watches her go with a small crease between his eyes, not seeming to understand why she appeared sad. He caught that, huh? Well, of course he did. This is Dimitri we're talking about. He doesn't miss much.

He wants to ask. I know he does. He wants to ask so bad if she's okay because that's who he is. He cares, and he cares a lot. He doesn't want to appear emotional or attached just yet. But the honorable cowboy that makes up Dimitri Belikov can't just easily ignore a damsel in distress. He just met Lissa, yet I know he already wants to protect her from everything in the world.

I love this man.

"What can I do for you, Comrade?" I ask, interlacing my fingers in front of me to stop from reaching out and grabbing at the man what was supposed to be my fiance right now. Well, not at this moment but... with the present me? Not the seventeen-year-old me but the twenty-three-year-old me. God, this is getting hard to keep straight in my head.

Dimitri scowls at the name, thoroughly distracted from Lissa for now. "Don't call me that." Oh, you'll come to love it, just wait.

I raise my hands in surrender before interlacing them again. "Sure, sure. What do you need?"

Dimitri steps up in front of me, looking up and down my person as if all of his questions are written across my skin and clothes. He's going to have to stop staring at me like that or we are going to have a very intimate problem. His eyes are like hands running up and down me. My skin begins to warm up and gooseflesh is spreading over my body. I want him to touch me. I want to touch him. It feels like a hundred years since I've last touched him. I miss him so much. He's so close, yet we couldn't be further apart.

My fiance, my love, my soul mate, I miss you.

Noticing me fidget, his eyes draw back up to my own. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I like you watching me," I say automatically, flirtatious mode on overdrive.

Dimitri looks like the comment fried his brain and I could have honestly punched myself in the face. My heart sees my fiance in Dimitri, while my brain sees a man who hardly knows me even though I love him so much. I've known for a long time that my heart kicks my brain's ass every time I open my mouth but Christ! I could have at least waited twenty-four hours before I started dropping subtle hints that I liked him.

Keyword being subtle!

Whelp, it looks like I really will have to leave and join the Keepers. Good luck, Lissa. I hope you figure this all out.

Trying to recover from my verbal slip up, I quickly say, "I've heard of you, I mean. You're pretty famous! Dimitri Belikov. So young and yet well respected in the Guardian ranks." Please buy it. Please forget that I purred better than a cat at you. "It makes me feel like I'm doing something right if I have your attention." Whoa girl, reign it in a bit.

Recovering a bit, but obviously a bit cautious, Dimitri says, "I didn't get that impression when we first met."

"I didn't realize who you were," I almost choke on that lie. One of the biggest in my life. I would know him anywhere. "I was just pissed off that by, um, giving blood to Lissa threw me off my game so much, that uh, I made a terrible first impression on you."

Dimitri blinks a few times. "You didn't make a bad impression on me," he says honestly like he didn't just half kill me. "Although I have to admit, what you displayed and what I've seen of your marks has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I didn't anticipate that."

"Blood loss does insane things to people," I say, then flinch. This really wasn't a part of my life I wanted to relive. I know he would never judge me, but some little punk walking around could overhear and spread that terrible rumor again and while I know it won't destroy me now - because come on, if I can survive the Moroi Queen Tatiana calling me a blood whore, some shitty high schoolers won't be the end of the world - but that was still a stigma that followed me around and I'm not so sure that I won't just start swinging this time around.

"I suppose," Dimitri says slowly. "But I mean about your Marks. Why did you not say anything before? To Headmistress Kirova? To me?"

Don't get your hopes up. He's just curious. He's not interested yet. Not the way you want him to be, at least.

I honestly don't know how to answer him. I feel like all I can do is lie to him now and that's not what I want. I don't want to build our relationship's foundation on lies. I don't want to ruin our chance at a future because of this. So.. maybe a bit of honesty could be beneficial.

"I..." I hesitate, looking up into his eyes, thankful that he seems to have forgotten about my verbal vomit a few minutes ago. "I don't know. I thought..." I shake my head, running my hands through my hair. "I thought this part of my life was over. I never thought that I would be coming back. Not like this. Not..." I wave my hand around. Not going back in time. Not losing everyone I love. My friends, my fiance, my father. Even my mother. Janine and I haven't bonded so there is still this underlying tension. Hopefully by me not being an ungrateful daughter it won't be so bad, but I won't know until I see her.

But my bond with Abe is basically dead at this point. He knows I'm out here, but he has no reason to seek me out. I'm not even really sure what made him come back into my life. Sure my mom put him on notice that I was missing and to keep an eye out, but he didn't have to ever come back into my life. What if he initially never planned to again and because I'm not going to let Dimitri turn into a Strigoi, I can't meet up with Abe?

I mean, I don't even have his number memorized and I can imagine it's hard to track good ol' Zmey when he doesn't want to be found.

"I never thought this would ever happen," I admit, dropping my hands to my sides.

Dimitri stares back at me. "You went two years without being found, I suppose I can understand. But taking the Princess away from the safety of St. Vladamir's was very foolish of you."

I smile faintly at him. "Yeah, well, you found me in weeks what other Guardians failed for years to do."

Dimitri nods slowly to himself. "I suppose I have to admit, you did well going back to school to finish up and be better prepared in protecting Princess Vasilisa."

"Lissa," I say automatically, hearing her full name come from his mouth is just too weird.

Dimitri blinks. "What?"

"She doesn't like being called Vasilisa. She wants you to call her Lissa."

"It's not - " He starts but I stop him by holding my hand up.

"She doesn't care if it's impersonal. She doesn't like being called that. It's why she frowned before she left. She doesn't want you to call her that." Well, at least that's mostly true.

Dimitri's dark eyes turn to where we last saw Lissa. "Oh. I see." He considers something for a moment before looking over at me, curiously. He hesitates, trying to decide on something. I raise an eyebrow and open my mouth, about to ask him what he was thinking about, when he says, in Russian, "I can't believe that you managed to go across the world to Siberia to finish your schooling. Why not just return to St. Vladamir's?"

I close my eyes, thinking back to all the nights we would stay up late, laying side by side. We would whisper Russian to each other. I would try to speak a full cohesive conversation in Russian to him and he would help me with the words I couldn't figure out and the pronunciations that illuded me. I would butcher a simple word and he would chuckle softly in the darkness of our room, blackout curtains keeping the sunlight out.

"No, Roza," he would whisper, pulling me into his arms and kissing my forehead. "It's pronounced like this..."

I miss him so badly, it hurts.

I open my eyes and look at him wishing so badly that we could go back to that moment if even for a second. I just want him in my arms so I could tell him I loved him one more time, kiss him one more time, just breath him in one more time. But I can't. I can't go back to that moment because I'm apparently trapped in this hell trying desperately not to ruin my own life by knowing what the future holds.

Instead, I lock eyes with his beautiful brown ones, saying, in Russian, "Because Lissa doesn't feel safe here."


	5. Message

**Author's Note: Hello friends! It's been a long time, hasn't it? I know! I'm sorry! I haven't forgotten about this story, I promise! Thank you for all of your support! It really inspires me to hear what you have to say! Thank you for everything! I still enjoy this story and will continue it until the end! Don't give up on me! Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

 **Warnings: Language, OOCness, Unbeta'd.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Word Count: 5,724**

Dimitri's world is small. He doesn't understand why that is, but I do. And I also understand that it's also a matter of time before he learns it. Things won't be the exact same, they can't be, because neither Lissa or I am the same people that we were the first time we were here, so there is no way that it could be. As unbelievable as all of this is, I get the flicker of shock that crosses his face before he covers it up. Despite all that he's seen and heard from me, it's hard to just accept that what I said was true. And while I'm not good enough at Russian to be mistaken as having it as a first language, or grown up learning it, I can pass well enough for having known it for a few years - because I did. I can pass that off pretty good.

"Why?" Dimitri asks, in English this time, controlling himself again easily enough. "What is so scary to the Princess here? What is here that she feels threatened by?"

I hesitate, wanting so badly to just spill everything to him. This is Dimitri! This is the man that I love! Sure, he's not exactly that person at the moment, but enough of him is the same that I know I can trust him. But I can't help but hold myself back. I can't make too many rash decisions without first talking to Lissa. We need to come up with a game plan before this gets too out of hand. We need to get our lie straight before we start talking around in circles with others.

So, no matter how much I want to blab to him, to tell him the truth and bring him into my circle of trust, I know that I can't. I have to hold off for a little while. As far as he's seen, we haven't even known each other for a day. The loyalty and love come later. Right now, all we have is intrigue and camaraderie. And even though I don't want it to be, it'll have to be enough for now.

But I will put him on alert. I'm not going to walk into this pretending he doesn't play a role in it when I know that he does. A lot of things were allowed to get out of hand because I wouldn't go to anyone for help. I would rather play it lone ranger and risk Lissa's safety. I didn't know who to trust the first time around but I do know now. I won't so easily be caught unaware.

I step closer to Dimitri, looking up into his eyes with my own. I drop my voice down low so he will have to focus on it to hear my words. "Let's just say that there are forces here that would rather hurt Lissa for their own benefit. They are trying to uncover the secret of that special day and they are willing to do just about anything to get the answer."

Dimitri looks down at him with furrowed brows, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

I smile at him coldly, "Someone wants to know the truth about that day, and they are willing to risk Lissa's life for it. They'll torture her for the answer and if it's to their satisfaction, then they will use her for their own means."

At the mention of torture, Dimitri's face darkens in worry and protectiveness. "Who?"

My smile fades and we just stare at each other. I try not to feel the heat of his body so close to mine. Smell his clean smell despite not having showered since I've been with him which was at least half a day. Feel his breath ghosting across my face at each exhale. His dark eyes study mine, burrowing into me with their intensity to somehow learn everything that I know. And the protective gleam in those dark depths that I could spot from a mile away shining brightly.

"If I knew who it was, don't you think we would have come back sooner?" I ask, rhetorically. I do know who is threatening Lissa. I am clear on who is our friend and who is our foe. At least here in St. Vladamir's. Everywhere else is a little bit more gray. More ambiguous.

Dimitri looks troubled and I hate having been the cause of that. I want so badly to go back to the peaceful moments. Where everything just so happened to be going right and everyone just so happened to be okay. Before anything went wrong, before anyone knew a storm was brewing, and before our world was on the brink of collapse.

"You don't honestly think she is in danger here? In the Academy, do you?" Dimitri asks, still not able to hop on the conspiracy train just yet. No, he's going to have to see some of Victor and Natalie Dashkov's ploys in action before he can start to believe, I think. And it makes sense to me. I'm sure that Dimitri's Academy days were so grossly different that he isn't able to easily empathize. His Academy was for Dhampirs training to be Guardians through pure unadulterated Spartan training that ends up with people like Dimitri.

They probably didn't have any time for drama. They were too busy wishing that a fissure in the Earth would open up, or Child Protective Services would come.

From the bit that I know from Dimitri and what I've learned from Lissa's research on it, that place was tough as nails to go through. To Dimitri, our training at St. Vladamir's is like a cakewalk. Well, probably not a cakewalk, but at the very least not as intense.

"Danger can come from anywhere, Comrade," I say easily enough, forcing myself to take a step back. "And I'm not going to risk my Moroi's life for a moment. If I have to lie and cheat my way into St. Vladamir's to stay with her and watch her back while you're busy..." I wave my hand around ambiguously, "doing whatever it is that you do around here, then I will. If we're both going to be Lissa's Guardians," and he won't, but he doesn't have to know that, "then one of us has to be the near Guard."

Dimitri gives me a particular look but doesn't outwardly disregard what I've said. Instead, he turns and walks away. Just like that. No goodbye or farewell kiss or anything. Rude ass.

"Well, bye to you too, buddy," I mumble turning to head toward the commons to speak with Lissa. I almost make it there when someone calls out to me.

"Rose?"

I glance over to see Victor Dashkov standing by the nearby building, hunched over and leaning heavily on his cane. Any pity I'd once had for him has completely vanished from me. I don't see him as the kind and gentle unfortunate Prince who could have been a great King had it not been for his sickness. Now I see him as a dirty, self-serving slimeball where suffering under Sandovsky's Syndrome wasn't punishment enough. Okay, maybe not _that_ bad. But I still don't have any sympathy or pity for him in my heart.

I contemplate running away, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to catch me, but his Guardians standing behind him catch my attention. He'd probably think something was going on if I book it away, and may just send his Guardians to kidnap Lissa sooner. Plus, the sight of Ben and Spiridon gives me a sour taste in my mouth. Maybe they weren't so much bad men, but they were loyal to Victor, which means they are no ally of mine.

But just because I can't run away without prompt, I can still try and dip out fast. "Oh, hi. Sorry, I can't stick around to chat, but I have to meet up with Lissa." I jab my thumb over my shoulder toward the commons, hoping he'd let me run off in peace.

No such luck. He waves his hand around, beckoning me over to him. I'm hesitant to comply but stop about three feet from him, forcing myself not to take a defensive stance. I have to fight the impulse to cross my arms over my chest.

"I just wanted to tell you that while I understand the gravity of the situation, I feel it should be acknowledged that you did keep Vasilisa safe all this time. That is impressive," he says, offering the kind grandfatherly smile I remember. It feels like hot pokers to my eyes.

"Thanks," I say, flatly, but quickly recover with, "I mean, we were still caught. So there's that."

"Perhaps," Victor offers, "but surely you faced your own dangers out there." Yeah, I avoided the Psi-hounds you sent for Lissa. "I mean, Siberia is a dangerous place."

Wow, word really does travel fast around here. Now that is impressive. They had to of overheard someone in the hall talking about it. That or Natalie is just that good, I suppose.

"It can be, yeah," I say illusively. "But we made it work and we're fine."

"Did you happenchance come across some of those Strigoi before or after reenlisting with one of the schools in Siberia?" Victor asks innocently, yet I can feel the fishing lure in the water. He's trying to poke holes in my story, and if I'm not careful, he will.

I try to remember what I said. I think I told them all we ran into were Psi-Hounds before we decided it was best for me to go back to school, so I say, "No Strigoi until after I went back to the Academy. Just Psi-Hounds."

A calculated moment of thought before Victor switches topics over, "Ah, Psi-Hounds. Those are some pretty magnificent beasts. I've been hunting with them before."

I look over my shoulder at the commons, now wanting to bolt away as fast as I can. I'm not mentally prepared to duck and dive through this minefield. Not right now at least.

"Look, Prince Victor," I say as calmly as I can muster, "it was really nice to see you again, but I have to go now." I turn and start walking away, forcing myself not to choke on that blatant lie and break into a desperate sprint away.

I only make it two steps before Victor calls out to me again. "Um, Rose?"

I grit my teeth, turning around again slowly. "Yes?"

He hesitates, shuffling around like he's nervous, trying to broach the real topic of conversation he made his way out here for. The action irritates me, but also puts me on edge. It just feels like everything he's doing is all so purposeful. Like there isn't a legitimate bone in his body until he reveals his true nature. Although, I suppose that is sort of the point of all of that. Either way, I hate that he's probably in legitimate pain but will use the sympathy from it to be an actual bastard. It's really throwing off my moral compass.

"What is it like? To be bonded, I mean?" Victor asks, peering down at me with eyes so similar to Lissa's yet shine so very differently from her's.

"It is indescribable," I grind out, not wanting to offer him anything. "I don't think I can put the feeling into words."

"Well, what does it do for you?" He asks innocently and I fluctuate back to pitying him a bit. As much as I don't like him, I remember how it felt after I killed him. I remember how horrible I felt. And even now, as much as the thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth, Natalie loves him, and while she turned Strigoi, she did it for him. She died for nothing, unfortunately, and probably didn't mean nearly as much to him as he did to her, I didn't hate Natalie nearly as much. Or at all, really. As for Natalie, I felt bad for her.

"Sometimes, it... allows me to feel her feelings..." I say slowly, realizing he wasn't going to let me go unless I offer him something. I'm surprised that Robert Deru didn't tell him all about it. Then again, maybe he did. "I am... more intuned with her, even while we are apart from one another."

Victor looked like he wanted to ask more, but a violent coughing fit overtook him. I don't hesitate for a moment. "I think it's time for you to get inside, Your Highness," I say curtly, nodding to Spiridon and Ben. "It's cold out here. I should go anyway."

Victor nods through the coughing and I wait a moment longer, faking my best-concerned look before heading off, trying not to break into a full on sprint, less that draw too much attention. I walk into the school, thankful to be out of the cold, and head for the commons, and almost run right into Lissa and the crowd that gathered around her, Mia, and Aaron.

"It looks to _me_ that it came from a garage sale. I thought a precious Dragomir would have standards."

I'm surprised that Lissa somehow ran into Mia regardless of knowing that this would happen. But I don't feel the same anxiety from before. She's not riled up by Mia anymore. Mia is small potatoes compared to what she's used to now. High schoolers don't have anything on the snobbish, upturned noses of the adult Moroi nobles who are so set in their ways it's hard to dissuade them from what they are used to. Like relying solely on dhampir to protect them and not wanting to learn offensive magic to assist in their own protection. Kinda like that.

Curious as to how she was going to handle this, I hang back a bit.

Lissa stares down at Mia, not at all flustered by the way our one time friend spit her family name. In her heart, she's not mad, she's sad. She's thinking about this Mia and how she must have felt being treated the way she was by Andre like she was just some dirty little secret. She wasn't from a royal family, sure, but Christian was a social pariah and Lissa would never dream of hiding him away or pretending not to know him when around her friends. She hated that the brother that she adored and wanted so badly to emulate would have done that to someone else.

"What?" Mia snaps, glaring up at Lissa like she was trash. "You have nothing to say? No way to defend that trash you're wearing?"

"I don't know what you want me to say," Lissa admits, breaking her silence. Through our bond, I can feel her resigned to this treatment. She doesn't blame Mia, she blames Andre. In some ways, she feels she deserves this on his behalf since he is no longer here, even though she's already dealt with this before.

"So you have nothing," Mia sneers, shaking her head as if in disgust.

"I have plenty," Lissa says easily, pride swelling in her gut. "I have Rose. I have my life. And for all intents and purposes, until just recently, I was happy. My life isn't perfect." She crosses her arms over her thin chest and steps closer to Mia, staring down at her with emerald eyes hard as diamond. "My family is dead and I am the heiress to a nearly destroyed bloodline. I have been on the run these last two years from the Academy who raised me for the better part of my whole life. I have seen Psi-Hounds and Strigoi. I have watched the people I love get hurt, suffer and die. I have been hurt and betrayed, stabbed in the back and lied to. I have watched the weight of my world come crashing down not once, or twice, but three times."

We don't have the attention of all of the commons, but we are starting to gain attention, and the crowd is growing. Mia shrinks a little, not anticipating that Lissa was actually going to stand up for herself.

Lissa stares down at Mia, sad that it had to be this way. She missed Mia as her friend and wanted that friendship back as soon as possible. "I have plenty to say about our world and the way we choose to treat one another like we are the enemy." She frowns in disgust. "Like we are okay with tearing each other apart because of our looks, or our social status, or for our clothes." She makes a vague gesture between herself and Mia. "But that is all childish and I am uninterested in anything of the like. So if you care so much about what I am wearing, then please talk about it with someone else. I am more concerned about our world, our people and our safety to care about something as petty as that."

Lissa casts a look over her shoulder and her pretty green eyes find mine. She offers a thin smile at me, in a way of thanking me for not immediately jumping in to rescue her and allowing her to handle this her own way, before looking back down at Mia, cool and collected.

I felt her desire and before I could say anything one way or the other, Lissa continued, "I am sorry, Mia, for the way my brother treated you. I am sorry that he treated you less than you deserved." Mia's face falls slack with shock, not only about Lissa knowing her name, but acknowledging her connection to Andre in public like that. Aaron, as well as the other spectators, look confused. Her tone takes a touch of pity as she continues, genuinely feeling bad rather than trying to taunt the other girl, "But trying to hurt my feelings, or make fun of me isn't going to hurt Andre. He's gone now. Anything you do against me isn't going to hurt anyone but me. I would like for us to be friends. While he can't feel my pain, I can apologize on his behalf. I'm sorry." Lissa reaches out and touches Mia's shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before looking back over at me. "I need to see the Feeder. Can you get me a raspberry yogurt and wait at our table?"

I nod. "Sure thing, Princess."

Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of time left for lunch, so I hope Lissa is going to be quick. We both go our separate ways, leaving Mia and the other bystanders to marvel at what just happened. Lissa was an absolute goddess at killing people with kindness. She's my hero. I hope one day I'm half as good at derailing people's life plans with simple kindness as she is. Although I fear it may be too late for me.

I grab my pile of fries and the questionable chicken nuggets as well as Lissa's yogurt and quickly hunt down a table in the far corner of the commons, making sure to avoid looking in Natalie's direction. There won't be any time for us to talk between her senseless gabbing, and knowing that anything and everything we say is going to be reported back to Victor, I would like to keep our distance. Luckily, before we initially left we hadn't spent that much time with Natalie before. We were friendly but not really friends. So we could get away with not really going out of our way to be around her. At least I hope so.

As for Lissa and she being roommates... well, that's something we are going to have to figure out. No doubt Lissa will have to endure torture from Natalie's senseless animal killings, but we are going to have to find a way to get passed it or use it to our advantage somehow. How we are going to do that...? Well, my ideas are flimsy at best, but I need to run them by Lissa.

Lissa is as quick as she can be. She elegantly walks across the commons and sits next to me as I stuff my face with fries. Not needing to wait for my prompt she says, "Thank you for letting me handle that. Hopefully, that will make the future a bit easier for us."

"Maybe," I say, somewhat doubtfully around a mouthful of fries. I'm gonna hope it was that easy, but I doubt that there won't be at least some rebuff from Mia once she recovers.

"What are we going to do, Rose?" Lissa says keeping her voice in a low whisper, lest someone is listening in. I glance over Lissa's shoulder to ensure that Victor's spy isn't on her way over to us.

"Well, I basically told everyone that I'm already a Guardian so that is going to change things, no doubt," I say, swallowing my mouthful of fries and pushing the plate away a bit. "So, I'm sure I'm going to be called back into Kirova's office any time now. Unfortunately, my lie is probably going to crumble when no one can get records of my passing the trial."

"Maybe not," Lissa says slowly. "We could see if we could get into contact with Abe. He might be able to help."

I had considered asking my old man for help, but I had no way of getting ahold of him. "I don't have his number anymore, Liss, let alone a phone to call him on."

Lissa shrugs her shoulders. "That's okay. We can use the school's phone to make the long-distance call. Besides, it would do us some good to have someone like Abe on our side. And he's your father, Rose. He'll help us if you ask him too. Despite everything, he was a good dad to you."

I roll my eyes. "When he was there, sort of." But admittedly, he was a good dad. He wasn't there all my life, but when I desperately needed him there was never a moment of hesitation with him. His actions may not always be unconditional love from father to daughter, but he never let me down when it really mattered. And admittedly, I miss him and know that his being on our side would be a great benefit to us. "But if we involve Zmey, that means we are probably going to have to tell him the truth. Are you ready for something like that?"

Lissa shrugs her shoulders again, finally opening up her yogurt and grabbing the spoon off of my tray to play around with it a bit, taking a small bite. "Unfortunately we don't really have much of a choice, do we?" She looks up at me, pressing her lips together tightly. "I would rather have Abe on our side now."

I would too, honestly enough. But there was still one tiny problem. "We have no way of reaching him." I sigh. "Unless the school has old knee breakers on speed dial, which they might, or my old man happens to be my ICE contact in my file, I don't think we have any way of reaching him."

Lissa laughs, shaking her head. "Hopefully he hasn't changed his number and we'll be fine."

"Lissa, I don't have my phone anymore," I point out. "How are we going to look up his number?"

"I have it memorized," Lissa says evenly. "I've memorized everyone's number. Well, not _everyone's_. But your's, Dimitri's, Christian's, Sonya's, Jill's, Adrian's, Sydney's, Janine's, and Abe's." She counts them out on her fingers as she names them off. "Am I forgetting someone? Oh, Eddie's, too! And was there another..?"

I wave my hand around. "Whoa, brainiac! Forget all of that! Are you saying you remember Abe's number?"

She nods. "Sure, I do. I'm good with numbers, remember? I'm in the smart math." She grins at me, flashing me her fangs. What would have once made me a bit anxious is actually a bit cathartic. I haven't seen her this relaxed and happy in a minute. And of course, it's about numbers of all things, the weirdo.

"You're brilliant, Lissa!" I gasp. "Hopefully Zmey has the same number and he'll be willing to help us."

Lissa nods. "Before class starts, we'll go to the office and call him. For now, what are we going to do about Natalie? About Victor? About all of this?"

"We have to stick to the story," I tell her.

I give her a full recap of Stan's lesson and what we talked about. We ran into Psi-Hounds and that led us to the decision to go to Siberia so that I could finish my training at one of the Academy's there. Lissa agreed that it was the only thing that I could say to cover our asses, but looked worried about whether Abe would be able to fake me having been there at all, let alone passed in essentially a year and maybe a half of training. Which is extraordinary, even by their standards. A lot of lying mixed with nuggets of truth went into this story but thankfully I only talked about big events and glossed over the small details.

"What about my feeding?" Lissa asks. "Are we going to try again with the humans agreeing to let me feed on them again and hope it works out better the second time?"

I shrug my shoulders this time. "Sure, but we can add in there the generosity of those we've met along the way. In Siberia, we've come across Moroi who was kind enough to let you feed on their personal feeders and if we have to admit to a dhampir looking for a fix we can. We don't have to be graphic about it. Mention a lot of hungry days, and living off the generosity of Moroi around us."

Lissa is apprehensive, not wanting for me to relive that time being called a blood whore any more than I do. But agrees that she doesn't have much of a choice otherwise.

"What are we going to do about Victor?" Lissa asks, accepting that answer as our only real option for now and moving on to the next pressing matter.

"Thankfully he's leaving sometime tomorrow, if I remember correctly," I tell her, trying to come back to this time in my mind to remember all that happened. "So he's not really going to be our problem until he makes his move."

"He does come back to drive us to the mall," Lissa reminds me.

"Oh, right, but all he does is break my ankle."

Lissa regards me disapprovingly. "That was a terrible experience that I would rather not live through again."

"What?" I grin mischievously at her. "Not a fan of snapping ankle bones?"

Lissa shivers in remembrance. "Oh, that was terrible, Rose. Don't even joke about that." She shakes her head as if to dislodge the image that we both see with crystal clarity in her mind. Well, at least I can be cynical about it, whereas she genuinely hated seeing me like that. Wanting to move on quickly, she says, "Okay, forget Victor for now. What about Natalie? I don't know if I'll be able to sit by while she tries to torture me with all those poor animals."

Admittedly, I wasn't looking forward to that either. That brings both of us back to a really dark place. I didn't like the person that St. Vladamir made Lissa into and neither did she. Our time away was a blessing. This place held too much pain and darkness, for both of us. This is when Lissa's cutting was really bad, and neither of us remembers this place fondly in that regard.

"Maybe they'll let you stay in the Novice dorm?" I offer.

Lissa rolls her eyes. "Oh yes, or maybe they'll let you stay in the Moroi dorm."

"I'm serious," I say. "I mean, think about it, there is hardly anyone of the girls' floor seeing as there is only a handful of us. There is plenty of space and if you get in to see Kirova again it wouldn't be a bad idea to try and convince her that you could use the privacy seeing as there are hardly any single rooms, if any, in the Moroi dorm."

"How am I going to convince her of something like that?" Lissa asks incredulously. "I don't want to compel her."

I shrug. "I don't know, Liss. At least request a private room and a lock on the door. Or come stay with me. There's a chance if they come to accept that I'm a Guardian and don't throw me out on my ass, figuring if you are willing to stay then I've learned my lesson and will obey your wishes or something, they may let you stay with me. Or me with you. Either way."

Lissa looks doubtful. "I don't know." She rubs at her forehead. "I'll speak to Headmistress Kirova after classes and see if I can at least convince her of giving me a roommate that isn't Natalie." She hesitates again, then says, "Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should let her try with those animals? I'm stronger now, able to resist the temptation. Plus, I would rather know what she was going to do than not."

As true as that is, I still have to ask, "Are you sure you'll be okay with that?"

Lissa glares at me. "No. I don't want her killing innocent animals and putting them on display in my room but I don't know what else to do. I would rather know what she's going to do next than not."

I have to say, I agree with her. I want to make sure that nothing too unexpected happens while we are still trying to figure all of this out. We both let out sighs, trying to decide on how we feel on the matter. I'm worried about her, and the last thing I would ever want to do is jeopardize her mental health any more than her physical health, but at least we know it's coming with the animals. I don't know. This sucks either way. Who knows? I might just be nearby when one of these incidents is to occur and catch her red handed.

Then she'll have a broken nose and visit the psyche ward to ponder her love for her father and her life decisions. But I'll keep that to myself for now.

I snarf down a few nuggets and some more fries while Lissa finishes a few more bites of her yogurt before we both throw the remainders of our meals away and head out of the room. I didn't miss that Natalie was starting to get up to come over to us, although I did feel a bit bad about simply blowing her off, I wasn't feeling it for too long, though, remembering what is to come.

We go straight to the office and Lissa is quick to charm the attendant there to let her use the desk phone. The school is used to long-distance calls seeing as Moroi and dhampir parents could be anywhere in the world at any time. Lissa types in the number and passes the phone over to me before speaking to the attendant, having remembered her from both before we left and when we originally returned in our past.

I wait with baited breaths as the phone rang about a hundred times before going to voice mail. He hadn't set up a voice mail other than the automatic response so there is no way of knowing who actually has this number. I can't take any chances of giving too much away. While Lissa is distracting the attendant from listening to what I'm saying I quickly plan out my next course of action.

Once the beep hits for me to record my message, I go for it. "Hey Zmey, it's Rose Hathaway calling again to remind you about the email account I set up for you. You must be busy which is why you haven't accessed it yet, but I've lost my cell and didn't get to send you all the information beforehand. Just remember, the email is Oldkneebreaker24/7 , okay? O-l-d-k-n-e-e-b-r-e-a-k-e-r-2-4-/-7, alright? And the password is the name of the Scottish woman with the pretty red hair. First and last name. Bye!"

Lissa gives me a strange look but doesn't question it. I hand the receiver over to the attendant in time for the bell to ring for us to go to class. Lissa and I run from the room to class. But I know she trusts me and will let me handle this as I see fit. Good. I hope that Zmey was on the other line and would understand the message. Now I need to slip away and make that email and leave a message for him.


	6. Flames

**Author's Note: I have been inspired. You are all so kind to me. I'm surprised any of you are still out there! All of your support has really helped push me onward, I appreciate it! I'm happy that you guys are excited for Abe, because I am too. I've enjoyed writing with him in my other story and I am excited to be able to do so again. Thank you for all the support! It's late, I'm tired and wrote all of this in one day, so please go easy on me. Once I progress far enough along and need to stronger refresher I'll go back and edit it to make it better. But until then, please forgive me! Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Warnings: Language, OOCness, Unbeta'd.**

 **Word Count: 5,616**

Lissa does such a better job talking to people again this time around. She is more open and honest with our classmates - less afraid, than the first time around - and her natural charm won them over easily and immediately. We are both quick to make it seem like we weren't gone for two years and while people still look at me in fascination and awe, they also seem to be able to easily forget and treat me like I'm one of them. I am proud to be a Guardian, it was always what I was meant to be and I enjoy my job, but sometimes it's nice just to be like everyone else for a moment.

In school, we could all be classmates. It was easy to forget in ten-minute spurts that we were still segregated between dhampirs and Moroi, and royals and non-royals. In passing and faded moments, we were all students of St. Vladamir's Academy.

We chatted when we made it to class with our classmates around us while being sure to keep close to one another while still being sociable. I was laughing and joking with some of my fellow dhampir in the row ahead of me, all the while in the back of my mind I was planning out where I would be able to easily gain access to the internet to be able to make that email account before Abe tries to gain access to it. And that is assuming that the message was even left on Abe's phone. For all we know, he doesn't have that number yet.

And I don't have a backup plan to somehow prove my lie. I'm just lucky that no one thought to ask me why I was still taking classes when I didn't technically need to anymore, seeing as I was supposed to have graduated at this point. I wouldn't be able to answer that aside from the fact that I hadn't thought of the lie when I was first brought here so Kirova sent me off to class without even realizing I am already promised.

Something tells me that isn't going to fly well with anyone.

Thankfully class starts and everyone falls silent so that they can avoid getting into trouble and it leaves me to drone out and try and plan out the closest, safest access to the internet without someone being able to easily figure out what we were doing. I can feel myself growing increasingly anxious as this class drags on. I can't even bring myself to pretend to listen to the teacher talk about whatever it was that didn't even stick with me the first time around.

I must have been jiggling my knee while anxiously watching the clock by the door because Lissa reaches over and places her hand over my knee and presses down on it to keep it from moving. I force myself to stop tensing up and whisper, "Sorry," and try to focus on the lesson again. She nods in understanding before pulling her hand away.

I watch as the minutes tick by trying not to think about what could happen. If they don't investigate me and just trust that since I'm promised now someone must have passed me, then am I able to stay with Lissa as I am, or will I be forced into the same position that Dimitri is in. I mean, at this point, he's her personal Guardian but it's pointless having him follow her around everyone. So he was placed into the school's registry to help keep the school safe seeing as his Moroi isn't able to leave without him.

Theoretically.

Once the bell rings I jump from my seat, grab Lissa's hand and rip her from her own chair as we sprint from the room. We only have a finite amount of time before we have to get to class and I've got to be fast. We sprint down the hall as fast as I can manage to drag Lissa along without physically dragging her across the floor all the way to the library. I drop her in a nearby chair and set to work on getting online and going to make that email.

Meanwhile, Lissa is panting in the chair, sunken into it like her bones have turned to jelly. She holds at a painful stitch in her side and stares at me as I work. Had the situation not been important, and had she enough air in her lungs to breath, she probably would have been able to tell me just how much she didn't appreciate that. Although the mental images do paint a pretty funny picture.

I snicker a bit, feeling only a bit bad, as I quickly make the email, glad that there aren't enough terrible old knee breakers as a dad that the name was already taken and was able to put my mom's name down as the password. A quick glance at the time shows me that we are probably going to be late as I still have to write out an email for Abe.

Thinking fast, I create an email to send to this address and quickly type out:

 _Abe,_

 _If you're reading this then you got my message. As I said, I am Rose Hathaway. I am the spawn in which your fling with my mother created. We haven't met in my life, which is unlucky for you seeing as I'm a real gem, but I need your help. Something has happened that I can't go into detail about as of yet, but I need you to do me the biggest favor in the world; get proof of my promising at St. Belstiva and have it emailed to me at -._

 _Look, Zmey, I don't have a lot of time, but I really need you to be a dad. Trust me, I'm a real joy to have in your life and your gonna be so happy that you started this relationship off right. We can hash out any dirty laundry we might have later, but I really need your help now. I'm stuck in a predicament that I need your help getting out of. If you have questions, contact me from my email._

 _Please just do this for me, old man, and I will explain everything later,_

 _Rose._

I sent the email and wait for it to appear in its own inbox before quickly logging out and shutting down the computer. The bell rings not a second later and Lissa's eyes widen in fear as I race over to her and pull her from her chair again.

"We are already late," Lissa complains as we sprint down the hall to our next class.

"Sorry!" I call back, not slowing down even as the stitch in her side acts up again. "Hopefully Abe will get the message before this all blows up in my face. Here's to hoping!" I cross my fingers on my other hand and hold it up over my head for her to see before pushing myself to go faster, dragging my Moroi behind me like the dead weight she is. "You need to work on your cardio, Liss."

"Oh, do I know it," she heaves behind me. "Wait, you have a different class than me!"

I stop and she runs into the momentum in which her small body was moving kept her going until she ran into the back of me. We both stare at each other as I try and remember what class we were supposed to be in right now. We just had Animal behaviors so next is...

"Oh, you and your stupid Smart Math," I grumble as I drag her down the next hallway to her Calculus class.

"That... doesn't make... sense," Lissa tries to retort though the lack of air in her lungs. I stop outside her classroom and practically kick the door open and push her inside before sprinting to my dumb math class. I can feel her embarrassment at being late on her first day back and no doubt being chastised for it by the teacher in front of the others. I'm late too and get called out in front of the class as well, which I take with grace. I mean, I didn't throw a chair or call the teacher a name, so I think that comes across as gracefully.

I keep my cool, though and act like I wasn't bothered at all and pretend to listen in class. I zone out a bit, wondering if Abe has gotten my message or if he got to read the email. I know that it hasn't been all that long but I'm starting to get more and more riled up as time goes on. I just want this portion of this to be out of the way. Then, maybe I can convince Kirova, seeing as I'm a Guardian, not to force me into bitch duty like my poor Russian eye-candy and have to watch over all the annoying kids in my school and let me just keep passing off as a student - sort of. I don't need to go to classes, necessarily, but I would like to remain with Lissa. At all times, preferably.

Once class is over, Lissa and I meet up again and go to our 7th period. We try and act like we aren't anxious for the end of the day and pray that we hear back from Abe soon. Once our final class is over we end up outside like last time. She steps close to me, making sure to keep her expression light and open but her voice low as she looks around at our classmates chatting around us, excited for having finished up the day and have free time to themselves.

"Do you think Abe has responded?" She asks.

"I don't know," I answer, scratching at the back of my head. "I'll have to check my email once I get to my dorm. Have you thought about what you're going to do about your room? Share it with you-know-who?"

Lissa looks torn. "I don't know. I really don't want to go through that. Maybe I should try and get a room with you. I don't know, though. They may still think that we are a flight risk."

"You could always convince Kirova that we aren't," I inform her, raising an eyebrow as I scan the area around us, keeping an eye out for Mia and She-who-shall-not-be-named. A part of me is hoping that Lissa is going to be right and that her apology has brokered us peace with Mia, but I am very aware that it would probably be too easy and nothing ever is with us. Or for us, for that matter.

Lissa glares at me. "I told you I don't want to compel Kirova. I really like her despite it all."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "I heard you before. And besides, as _I've_ told _you,_ you can be quite charming without the need for compulsion. Just talk to her. I honestly don't want you to have to deal with that either. I mean, if we stay in the Moroi dorm she could still get to our room easily, and she usually struck while you were out anyway, but I would just feel better being there with you."

Lissa nods slowly. "I know. I would rather you be there too." She runs her hand through her pretty blond hair. "I am stronger. I can do this, I know that I can. I just..." she hesitates for a moment before admitting, "I don't want to go at it alone."

"You aren't alone," I tell her firmly, reaching out to take her hands. I spare a moment to scan the area again before turning back to her pretty green eyes. "No matter what you end up deciding. Whether you ask Kirova to let us stay together or not, I'm always going to be with you. I'll spirit my way into your mind if I have to," Lissa smiles faintly at that, finding comfort in that like I knew she would, "and every moment I can be with you, I will. No matter what."

Her love for me blossoms in her chest and she can't imagine being with anyone else in the world but me. She loves Christian and our friends and misses her parents and brother, but I'm like her soul mate. And she is mine. No one would ever understand me as she does. And she feels the same way about me. Christian and Dimitri are the loves of our lives, no doubt, but we are each others' soul mates. If I have nothing and no one else in the world, I will always have Lissa. No matter what. No matter the time or the distance.

"Thank you," Lissa says softly. "Thank you, Rose."

I offer her a sideways grin. "Anything for you, Highness."

She rolls her eyes as someone says, "Rose?"

We both look over to see Dimitri. The happiness flooded into Lissa's chest made me sad. Seeing him hurt me. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch him, but I knew that I couldn't.

"Guardian Belikov," Lissa says fondly, smiling at him sweetly. I am watching in real time as he falls for her sweet charm. His eyes soften at the sight of her and he bows his head politely.

"Princess Lissa." His words were even, and calm, but his dark eyes watch her expression carefully. Her green eyes widen a fraction of an inch at him saying her preferred name before her smile brightens considerably, feeling like somehow they had gotten closer than before.

"Please, just Lissa is fine," she says up at him. Dimitri doesn't look like he's ready to commit to that yet. No matter how close Guardians and their Moroi are, there is usually still a level of professionalism to it. Lissa relents deciding that she would take Dimitri agreeing to at least address her by her Americanized name, she would be willing to take this as a victory for now. "Baby steps then."

"So, what's up, Comrade?" I ask, giving Lissa's hands a squeeze before letting them go and turn to my Russian Guardian God of a future husband.

Dimitri looks down at me, frowning. He's still not particularly fond of the nickname. It'll grow on you, just wait. "You are late for practice."

I stare at him, feeling like my brain is short-circuiting. "Late? But..." I had to stop myself because if I finished what I was going to say with, " _I'm a Guardian,"_ makes me sound like anything but that. It would come out like a whine than a statement, I'm sure of it. I know that we were supposed to be training, but I figured once he learned that I wasn't a slacking novice he wouldn't feel the need to put me on lockdown. But I guess not. The shackles stay on as far as he's concerned I guess. Nevermind that at this point I've killed more Strigoi than he has.

Then again, I bet he's still better than me, even now. As good as I was, and as good as I can be, he was always just a little bit better. And I am always learning more from him.

"Well..." Lissa says slowly, trying to offer me an olive branch, "thank you for staying with me, Rose. I'll let you two go. I need to think a bit before I go speak with Headmistress Kirova." She gives my arm a squeeze before tipping her head to Dimitri and heading off toward the cafeteria.

Together Dimitri and I head for the gym in about two beats of silence before I have to admit, "I thought that when you learned that I was a Guardian that I wouldn't have to go. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just blow you off."

He seems surprised by both my honesty and my sincerity. Rude. "It's fine," he says slowly. "And while I don't have to worry about teaching you, I should at least see where your skills are. Especially since we are going to be working together for the foreseeable future."

That makes perfect sense and is so completely logical and Dimitri-like I'm surprised it didn't just occur to me when I left class. I mean, Dimitri and I would train with each other all the time. It was one of those things that we just never stopped doing, even once we got to Court. Whenever we could, we would go to the gym and spar with one another, or just work out. So I don't really mind this.

"Well then..." I say slowly, keeping up with his longer strides easily enough, "then I suppose you and I should get better acquainted." Whoa, down girl. Reign it in a little bit. "If we are going to protect Lissa, I mean." My flimsy attempt at a recovery.

"Sure," Dimitri says slowly, but then we lapse into silence.

The gym comes into view when I feel the pull. Through our bond, I feel this overwhelming feeling of sadness and pain. It's so sudden, so powerful, I don't even think twice before jumping into her head to see what was going on.

"You can have the Academy, but not the window seat."

Lissa is in the attic of the chapel and standing before her as wonderful and handsome as she remembers is none other than Christian Ozera. Her feet had led her to the chapel as a way of comforting herself here at St. Vladamir. Even though so much time has passed, she still can't seem to break the feeling of comfort that this place brought to her. And she forgot about Christian being up here. She did now associate this place with him, but for a brief moment, forgot that he would be up here waiting to reenact this moment, whether he knew it or not.

And she missed him. She was so preoccupied worrying about what was coming and what they needed to do that she also had to come to the reality of standing across from the man she loved and accept that he didn't love her. And Lissa was now in the exact same position I'm in with Dimitri. She has no idea how Christian fell in love with her and how she could ever recreate those events so that he would.

It's lucky for her this bond only works one way because I'm pretty sure Christian was crushing on her almost from the very beginning. She doesn't have to worry about a thing. He'll be tripping over himself to be with her before she can even worry her pretty little head. I'm sure of it. Hopefully, he doesn't set fire to a building full of orphans this time just so he can save them and get into her pants.

Oh yeah, and maybe those two chuckleheads can not have sex while I'm asleep and vulnerable. My mind unprotected. Now that would be a crazy twist of fate I'm sure we could all get behind!

"Christian," Lissa says. For a moment, that sardonic smirk on his face twitches, not having expected her to know his name. I mean, I get it. He's Christian Ozera, social pariah, and she's Vasilisa Dragomir, prestigious, pretty and princess. The only way she could know of him would be through negative rumors, no doubt. And they were. She only originally knew of him because of his parents.

Little did that little creep know that she was madly in love with him now. Pretty, sweet and lovely Vasilisa was in love with dark, dangerous and sarcastic Christian. What a story.

He recovers quickly, though with a, "Don't worry. I won't bite. At least, not in the way that you're afraid of." And that cynical laugh. Lissa doesn't like that laugh. She doesn't like the self-loathing and self-deprecating side of Christian. She knows that it's a shield to protect himself from the harsh reality of the world around him - i.e. people just suck - but she, and I, both don't want to hear him joking about something that really does bring him pain, even if it is to try and keep people at a distance so they don't hurt him.

The sadness in Lissa's heart increases and she wishes she could reach out and hug him tightly in her arms and never let him go.

"I'm sorry," Lissa says, her hand over her heart as if to keep it in her chest. "I didn't see you there."

Christian walks around the junk piled up ceiling high so that the two of them could stand before each other. "Oh, don't mind me, just taking in the scenery." He gestures around the cluttered room like it was the most extravagant paradise. Lissa's eyes follow the motion but return to his face easily enough. His blue eyes find her's and he asks, "So what is the illustrious Dragomir Princess doing here? Don't you have parties to go to? Lives to destroy?" He meant it to be snarky. He meant it to keep that distance between himself and others. But when Lissa's face twists into a look of pain at his words, he immediately looked like he regretted it.

Yeah, stop being a punk, jerk.

"I'm not that girl anymore," Lissa says softly, wrapping her arms around herself.

Christian looks like he's not certain whether he believes her or not. I don't think Lissa was bad at all, but she did often think about whether she was a good person to those around her because that sort of thing was important to her. She thought that Andre was the greatest and when she came to learn that he was flawed just like everyone else, it opened the door to a lot of introspection over the years. She knows, especially as a Queen, that she can't be friends with everyone but she was always striving to at least be both fair and kind. Even if her judgments couldn't be in all regards.

I don't envy the work she's put in, but I sure do admire it. Lissa is definitely my Queen, no matter what, but she is also my hero.

Christian shrugs his shoulders. "I suppose time will tell with that, Princess. But I suppose that we are going to have to discuss the elephant in the room." She gives him an odd look, not understanding. "Visitation rights," he says, gesturing around the room. "I'm assuming you're here for a reason, well, so am I. This place has been my hideout for a year now."

Lissa couldn't help herself. "I have been coming here before I even left, my claim is more solid."

Christian shakes his head. "Squatters right, Princess. You left it, and now it's mine." He gives her a look through long, dark lashes that makes her breath hitch and she has to look away. "Besides, I got to stay here so that people don't think I've turned Strigoi. Yet."

Lissa draws her eyes back up to him, pity and sadness clutching at her heart. It must have shown on her face because the snarky look on Christian's falls to stare at her with a slight crease between his brows.

"I'm sorry, Christian," Lissa says softly, taking a step closer to her love but forcing herself to wrap her fingers up in the fabric of her shirt to prevent herself from reaching out to touch him. "I am so sorry that you have to do something like this, all because of the actions of your parents. I'm sorry that you have to spend each and every day doing everything you can to prove that you aren't them. People are so cruel, and I wish I was strong enough to have said something sooner." She captivates him with her big, sad green eyes and says, "I am so sorry if I was another one of those people that fed into your pain."

Whoa Liss, laying it on a little thick there. I think he just had an aneurysm. I don't know if anyone ever apologized to Christian for the blatant discrimination of his parents have chosen to become Strigoi that others had forced upon him. Plus if I know Lissa as well as I think I do, I'm pretty sure she's batting those long lashes and her cheeks are turning red and she just looks so genuinely kind that it's impossible not to be captivated by her.

Christian looks away, not really knowing what to think about how she was talking to him - you know, like a person rather than a stain on our society, the special treatment. He takes a few moments to consider before looking at her. "Can I ask you something?"

Lissa stares back at him. "You want to know what I did for blood?"

He looks surprised by her pinpointing it immediately and I have to roll my eyes. So I'm not the only one who's using my knowledge of what's to come to get me ahead in conversations. Oh man, if only I had retained anything from class, tests wouldn't be the worst. Oh wait, I probably won't even be taking any tests of being a student much longer. Aha! There is justice in the world!

"You and Rose are the center of the rumor mill right now," Christian points out as if we didn't already know. "Everyone it talking about each and every little thing that they can dissect. Why you left. How you got out. Where exactly you went. How you got to Siberia, so on and so forth. Trust me, I think I've heard it all, and no one was speaking to me about it. But that was the thing that no one talked about." He looks into her eyes, burrowing into her soul with the intensity. "So what is it? What did you do for blood?"

Lissa hesitates, wanting to stick to the story that we discussed, but also knew that Christian wouldn't believe it if she said that she was able to live off of junkie humans. Although she was kind enough to consider what I said about living off the generosity of other Moroi, she decided that she would say that to anyone else who asked. This was Christian. She trusted Christian, even right away. He guessed the truth and never spoke a word to anyone else about it. He was a true friend right from the beginning. Even if I couldn't see it originally.

In this regard, I don't mind her telling him the truth. He would probably figure it out sooner or later. I mean, she doesn't need to go full on torture to get her to spill the beans to him. He just has to bat those ice blue eyes and Lissa melts under the pressure. I'm going to need to be careful about what Lissa and Christian talk about when I'm not there to be able to slap her across the face when she starts drooling too much.

"Rose gave me her blood so that I could survive. She happened to have fed me the night we were captured," Lissa admits, stepping closer and reaching out to touch his arm. "Please, don't tell anyone. Please keep it a secret between us."

Christian analyzes her words and seems to realize she told the truth, for he nods somberly, knowing what it means if he were to spread such a thing around. But he wouldn't be Christian if he didn't crack an unnecessary joke. "I mean, it's going to be tough keeping this from all my friends, but when the Princess Vasilisa Dragomir begs for your silence, you have no other option but to obey."

Lissa rolls her eyes, smiling up at him. "Thank you, Christian. And please, call me Lissa."

I pull back into myself to see Dimitri standing before me, his hands on my shoulders. We are just outside the gym when I suppose I stopped walking. At least I made it further than last time.

"Rose? Are you okay?" Dimitri asks, looking concerned.

I try not to read too far into it. "I'm okay. I was just in Lissa's head. She seems to be adapting to school life well. She's made a friend."

Dimitri looks at me skeptically. "In her head?"

I rub at my forehead, not used to being able to jump back and forth again. It had been just long enough for me to have started to forget the full force of this feeling. While I have significantly more control over it now that I did before, it's like reworking an underused muscle. I'm going to need a bit of time to be back in the full groove of it.

"Yeah, it's part of our bond. I can feel her emotions and hear her thoughts and when she's feeling something strong enough she can pull me into her mind. That's what just happened." A little, innocent lie. If someone is hiding around in the shadows listening in, they don't need to know that I have control over it. Not yet, at least. "She's okay, though. Just startled was all. But she's good now."

"Can you keep going?" He asks and looks genuinely concerned about whether I would be okay or not. I miss the gentleness and care. I miss this look on his face, where he feels he can let his hair down a bit - metaphorically speaking - and show his softer, more doting side. Dimitri's nature is made up almost entirely on protective instinct. He can't help himself, it's who he is. Growing up in a household full of women with a deadbeat Moroi dad who liked to beat his mother has unleashed this fierce protectiveness that has become such a powerful driving force in both his job and his personality that it's hard to ignore. And it's hard not to see even behind the stoic front he puts up.

"Yes." I smile up at him. "Thanks."

"If you are sure," he says, before pulling back and leading the way inside. I follow. I go straight for the locker room, happy to finally change into some actual training clothes instead of my jeans and t-shirt that I've been wearing all day. Still gross. And when I meet up with him in the main gym area, he's also dressed down in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Oh wow," I say, admiringly before I shake my limbs out, pretending to start warming up. "You aren't even going to take me to dinner before we get to the fun stuff? And by fun stuff, I mean throwing each other around these ugly blue mats until one of us cries."

Dimitri lets out a little laugh, not having expected that. He controls himself quickly enough but there is a playful sparkle in his eye. "I need to know the strengths and weaknesses of my partner. This is a good bonding exercise."

"Sure, kick the crap out of one another. Just yell, 'Rose Hathaway is a goddess amongst us mortals,' as your safe phrase."

Dimitri's lips curl and I am very aware that it is cheating that I know his sense of humor.

"What about your safe phrase?"

Oh my god, the things I would do to this man. And what an opening that was. I couldn't fall back to sultry Rose's reaction and had to mentally switch gears to sassy Rose and hope that she's on top of her game today. "Mine will be, 'The collapse of the KGB is a government coverup. They hear all, they see all'."

Dimitri rolls his eyes. He has to turn his head away to stop the smile that was spreading across his face. He takes a moment to control his expression before informing me, "The KGB collapsed in 1991."

I stare back at him. "Need I repeat myself? Government coverup."

Dimitri shakes his head. We continue stretching and warming up our muscles. I'm sure this is going to be an experience, for both of us. Because if there is anything I know about myself and Dimitri, it's that we are both competative by nature. We don't like to lose. This is great when it's us against others, and damn near terrifying when it is against each other.

"Don't forget your safe phrase, comrade, you're gonna need it." I stretch my arms above my head.

Dimitri gives me a flat look, despite the sparkling in his eyes. "We shall see, Rose."


End file.
